Gratitude, Ambition, Competitiveness, Success.

I have been experiencing a big jolt, a big push towards success lately.

I am training people to become Internet Marketers, and in the process I am becoming one myself.

Teaching something that you haven't accomplished is quite an excellent process, if you can stay in the inquiry, instead of pretending that you have it together. The latter would lead to misinformation, lying, fraud, and the whole nine yards.

Telling the truth that you have some tools, you have a commitment, and you don't know your a-ss from your elbow, is a better way to play this "game." This is how I play, and it's been working out for all parties. It's not smooth, but then, no learning is smooth: any learning worth a dime includes breaking out of tiny boxes, breaking out of the prison of what you already know, painful, and not smooth at all.

I am going to share some of my recent insights in this article: something I haven't even formulated in my head, so pray that it comes out right, ok?

I did a course 22 years ago that I learned to add "thank you" to every check I write, whether it is my rent check, or a commission check... all the same. I have been doing it for ever, and it has managed to change my relationship to money: money is a communication device to say thank you. I am not kidding you, money is little thank you notes.

Whenever a commission notice hits my inbox, I say "thank you."

I have become a grateful person. I even whisper inside "I don't deserve it" to avoid the transaction part, the deal part, the "I gave this to you, and I earned that money" thought, that degrades all of life into the low vibration of commerce. Machiavelli, and the like.

In my 20 years in Landmark I was working diligently to live for some possibility that is waaay beyond me... and I got poorer and poorer in the process.

Something was missing. From Kabbalah I learned that it was desire, it was being able to harness the ego, to use its energy, for something that is worth being, doing and having. Result? Trying. And you know what trying is? A code word for nothing. Not doing. Not succeeding.

Backtrack to May of this year: I was asked to coach a group of people who signed up to a course I had done. To the best of my knowledge, that course never produced anyone who made a penny with their efforts as a result of participating.

I decided (ego) to create the first group that does... and that was the very first time in my life that I started to travel on the back of ego, get energy from ego, but yet, act in the interest of many, including mine.

To be armed with more knowledge... hey, I know what I know and what I don't! I enrolled in a webinar series called "Product University" with Robert Plank and Lance Tamashiro. I lucked out. Their course was something different, not your usual information delivery system, it was actually a course with course work, challenges, the chance to win or lose.

I was so impressed that I took, concurrently, another class with these two guys, "Webinar Crusher".

My desire to want to achieve something started to be awakened. In their next course, "Video Sales Letters 2.0" I found myself wanting to win challenges, wanting to be the first: competitiveness, one of the most important characteristics of an entrepreneur, surfaced. By now, in their "Membership Cube" I am fiercely competitive, passionately ambitious, asking for help, setting hard to accomplish goals... and in front of you is a newly born, healthy human being who shredded all the self sacrifice, all the "I don't matter", all the b.s. some religions and some self-help programs teach, to the detriment of the participants.

It takes energy to accomplish anything. It takes spiritual energy. When you suppress it or leak it (by being a rescuer or helper) you are not helping anyone. You are helping the Dark Side, the part of life that is not affirming to Life.

I always cringed from people who preach "Love" or "Luv", but it takes one to know one. I don't cringe any more, I have nothing in common with them.

I am now of the firm belief that I need to become big, give all I got, become the best and most I can become, that is the way I can help the most people.

And I now trust that the newfound ambition and competitiveness will help me through all the stopping points, all the sticking points, all the "walls" I have been stopped by: you need a lot of energy to accomplish anything meaningful.

Giving up being a helper/rescuer is giving me enough energy for that.

Clarity... delusions of grandeur

In my coaching practice I often bump up against a certain type of client, it's never rewarding, it's never pleasant.

Let's call the type "I am so great, why no one is seeing it?" Or maybe let's call him Pete... why Pete?

Because some twenty years ago I had a fling with an alcoholic whose name was Pete. He was from Poland, and he spoke a little English. But when he was drunk he SPOKE a lot of Polish-English gibberish... and he was sure he just needed to drink and his English instantly improved.

So the type of coaching client, "Pete" shows the same characteristics.

He is always ready to be offended, when people treat him like he is less smart and less knowledgable that he is in his mind's eye.

His life is full of failures, full of dullness... his grand plans don't pan out, but it is never his fault. The plan was good, he was great, other people didn't understand him, didn't appreciate him.

He is not appreciative for help, instead he gets annoyed. What you give him is never good enough, he will turn around and redo it... even if the result is exactly the same.

If you are his teacher or his coach, he will always point out where you are teaching or coaching the wrong way.

In axiology1 , which is the science of measured relationship to value, there is a distinction: clarity.

An applied axiology profile2, based on a 20-minute simple exercise, can tell you a lot about you. It can tell you where you are strong, where you are weak, and what you can expect to fail at, and what to excel at. Amazing 20-30-40 page profiles come out of that little 20-min. test.

One of the things it bases its assessment on is your clarity on three different levels. On the intrinsic level, on the extrinsic level, and on the systemic level.3

Our Pete has a serious problem on the extrinsic level, the level of worldly value, what people are willing to pay for and what they aren't.

When you are crystal clear, have the highest level of clarity, you know exactly what the stuff you make is worth... a lot, or a little, doesn't matter. What matters in clarity, what matters is that you see a spade for a spade.

You can also be just clear, and you can be hazy, foggy, delusional, or as the science of axiology puts it "visible."

Our Pete is delusional. He has delusions of grandeur. And a life of disgruntlement, a life of being hurt, displaced, and failures.

In my years of coaching, 99% of Petes are males... I have only come across two Petettes :-) in the past 24 years.

Women, when they are unclear in this area, they suffer from lack of self esteem, even if they have good skills.

My own little brother is a Pete...

Are you a Pete? Or do you know one? Talk back to me!

  1. the study of the nature, types, and criteria of values and of value judgments especially in ethics []
  2. http://www.thenewgame.com/axelrodlearning/samplereports.html []
  3. intrinsic level is the level of values like goodness, honesty, etc. i.e. the "godly" values. extrinsic level is the level of worldliness, something has use value, like a good taste, a nice smell, a fast car, good looks, a comfortable chair... something you would spend money on... Systemic is the on/off switch type of value and is highly cultural, good/bad, moral/immoral, right/wrong, true/false judgments live on this level []

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