When and How You Should Argue with Your Coach?

This is important, and I hope everyone gets it.

As a coach, I often experience people taking my remarks as criticism, and are compelled to protect or defend themselves. I normally "fire them" as clients. Why? Because they are missing the point. And I am not about wasting my "Light" on black holes...

You hire a coach to point out what they can see from their point of view.

What is their point of view?

That is immaterial. The only thing that matters is that their point of view is not the same as yours, because their eyes (view... get it?) is not behind YOUR eyeballs.

When you are defending what you are doing, you are arguing for staying the same with the exact same results you have gotten thus far.

When you are willing, for a moment, to look and see what the other person is seeing, you are creating the possibility of a future, discontinuous from where your future has headed before this moment.

If my takeaway from this whole 8-week program that cost $1000 were ONLY that I should ask myself a question every time I set up an item on my todo list: "How is this going to make me money?" I would have gotten my money's worth. And more.

Often just asking this question will lead to multiples of that thousand bucks, and I have the opportunity to ask that question 4 times a day!

This is where millionaires are made, in these questions, and in the moments when a coach interferes with your "already always" way of looking at life and doing things.

Your job is to listen and look. And if you are a hotheaded Hungarian/Israeli/New Yorker, like me, you can curse under your breath, but look, nevertheless, and NEVER argue with a coach. It doesn't hurt them, it hurts YOU.

Merry Christmas.

Making A Difference... How Can YOU Make A Difference?

I have been nurturing this sense that I can make a difference in the world forever... I even remember at age 3-4 thinking about that, so it must have come from before birth...

Of course, life doesn't seem to prove it.

As a coach I may be able to change someone's behavior, maybe even contribute to them being high-minded, but all in all, my life, from the point of view of making a difference, has been a failure.

I am reaching for the starts, and I am coming up with a fistful of dirt... time and time again.

Is it because I am a bad coach? We could consider that. Or we could consider that I am a David fighting not one but a billion Goliaths in the form of media: newspapers, television, and other brainwashing devices.

I don't participate in the brainwashing much, only through clients sharing some of the input they have gotten, that penetrated their conscious, though the delivery method of these devices is hypnotic... The stuff they share has provided an insight of how come I have been an ineffective person in accomplishing my life's purpose, causing massive transformation on the planet.

I found today this amazing 5-minute video on Dr. Mercola's site. Now, Dr. Mercola is not my favorite person, but he has impeccable taste and judgment on videos, and this one is no exception.

In this movie the two parts that interplay are the turning of the hypnotic devices and adapting the new belief that you and a bunch of you can make a difference.

Pay special attention to the unexpected behavior of the buffalo, or whatever that dark-skinned animal is in the movie... I gasped. I thought: animation... but what if this is real. What if we are supposed to turn against our oppressors, and protect our own, show our strength, and take our planet back?

Watch it. It is very thought provoking and mobilizing: I can feel some power welling up in me... imagine that!

If you were a company: what kind of company would you be?

We all come with different strengths... it could be said, they are inclinations. They are approaches to life and to challenges. When left to our own devices, we always do things the same way... good or bad, effective or not, we say "it should work" then it doesn't.

As a coach I have an unlimited source for ideas to share: my clients provide me with a wide variety of case studies, and insights into the successes and failures of systems, ideas. I am going to share one of these in this article:

When we just look at someone, we already know what they are capable of... or do we? We "see" that they are not cut out to have their own business because... and after that "because" there is a series of words, like they don't have vision, they work to much and don't have time to make money, etc.

Let's look at what is the underlying truth about all that instant insight.

We all come with different strengths... it could be said, they are inclinations. They are approaches to life and to challenges. When left to our own devices, we always do things the same way... good or bad, effective or not, we say "it should work" then it doesn't.

That secret inclination is called conation. the word is archaic, but the meaning isn't.

Not knowing about it has caused countless failures, so listen up.

Let's look at conation from a new point of view to shed light of what's wreaking havoc on your business, ok?

Each company needs a ceo. A ceo's job is to hold the vision of the company and its direction. His job is to know what to do to accomplish the company's goal.

The ceo looks at the company, and the world from his 22nd floor penthouse office, and sees the big picture, sees the connection between stuff... That's the ceo. He is the strategist, or the general of this war...

A company with just a ceo will not go far... and the penthouse office will soon be taken away.

The next job that needs to be filled is the job of a manager. The manager's job is to translate the ceo's vision into doable steps. Tactics are the domain of the manager. Timelines are the domain of the manager. Hiring the right staff is the domain of the manager. Keeping deadlines, answering questions... busy, busy, busy.

A company with just a ceo and a manager will not get much done either.

The next player in this game is the worker, who translates the how to and tactics and what have you, that the manager throws at them.

They build, they correct, they execute, they love to get things done.

Now, we are getting there... these three can make things happen.

But don't hurry just yet: there is a need for another player, because without that player the company will soon get into a rut. That player is the innovator, the maverick of the company, the mad scientist, the one without any sense of time, any sense of money... better keep him in a straight jacket...

Believe or not, each human has these four characters battling it out...

But the strength of these characters is different.

For some, the mad scientist runs the show... we all know people like that. I am one of them... ha-ha-ha... (that was supposed to be the eerie laugh of the mad scientis echoing fromt he empty walls of the dark corridors of the company after midnight when everyone is at home in their bed, but the scientist is roaming those corridors pondering his new breakthrough idea...)

Many others have a great upper management team, but no one to get the work done, and no one to innovate.

One of my students has an even distribution of strengths, but he is so chatty and so enamoured with the latest and greatest guru product, by the time he needs his ceo to tell the rest of the staff what to do, this ceo part of his is so exhausted, that the manager needs to take over.

What happens if and when the manager makes the decisions, predominantly?

Imagine that the task is to put up a sign on a wall. The ceo knows which wall, but leaves the  how to part to the manager.

But if there is no effective ceo, the manager will make the decision based on his criteria: he will pick the wall that is easiest to scale, that is closest to the workers, that is unobstructed by stuff, etc.

The result: there will be a sign on a wall... but the wrong wall. The company's vision is lost... or jeopardized. Time and resources spent on the wrong thing... a net loss.

Well, we can see this happening with this student of mine: he makes decisions based on: I can do it... or that sounds good, or I can afford it... and proceeds building a system that sounds good, but doesn't fit into the big picture, or goes in a totally different direction.

If you were a company: what kind of company would you be?

Make sure you let your voice heard. The best of the answers will win a one-on-one session with me... worth $250... minimum.