Do You Think You Can Tell WHAT You See?

Most of us are sure we can. We make decisions based on what we see, and our decisions and actions take us to live the life we live.

Most of us live a life of quiet desperation. It was true at the turn of the last century, and it is true now.

There was a discipline and coaching paradigm I studied and used about 9 years ago. It is based on axiology, the Nobel Prize nominated work of Robert Hartman.

Axiology is the study of value or quality. It is the science that deals with what is good and what is not. Beyond and independent of subjective judgment.

The test (Value Profile) we ran in axiology had 4 parameters by which we could map out the potential for success of any individual.

One of them relates to the title. The parameter is called “clarity”.

We all think we are clear. Yet we can be a lot less than clear if our life is not a symphony and a victory of the human power and spirit. (Got it? That means you and me and even many of the so called demi-gods of our times.)

Clarity is the relationship between your view and reality (like a percentage) or how well what you see and what you think you see overlap.

I like to use an analogy from my publishing/printing background: In order to print a continuous tone, like a photograph, you need to break up the original to dots. The measure is called dot per inch, which means how many dots, each direction, you can print on a paper without the dots touching each other and therefore causing a blotch instead of a clear picture. Newsprint paper is porous, so the density of of dots on that type of paper is maximum 75 dots per inch. Semi glossy magazines and brochures are printed at about 105-120 dots per inch. Playboy is printed at 150 dots per inch.

When you look at a newspaper picture, sometimes you are not sure if the person has a mole or just there is a shadow or maybe a blotch of ink where you thing the mole is. Glossy brochures are better, Playboy is really really really good.

I use this dot per inch analogy to show that we normally see the world in certain level of clarity (dots per inch). In order to be clearer, one thing we can do, is to add dots where there are not dots.

Another is to remove the blotches, that in clarity’s terms are the misconceptions: societal, familial, or personal.

Adding dots is a simple learning process coupled with friends of colleagues that can help you with. (Critiquing is an important tool, though most people hate it… sorry to say.)

Removing blotches is harder, and this is my specialty. Distinctions are the major tool for tha. Distinctions are those invisible things that once they become visible, lots of blotches disappear. Read my other posts an sites on that http://www.squidoo.com/distinctions or http://www.sophieschoice.org/new-site-on-squidoo-just-for-distinctions/

And come back for more… I am the Distinctions Queen, so all my posts will take you deeper into this rabbit hole.

What is “Natural Growth” and how to Accomplish it, Spiritually, and in Business

Most of the people I know are either stagnating because they don’t put themselves in a situation where they need to grow, or they put themselves in the courses and seminars and coaching programs to grow, but they don’t grow because …

Well, what comes after that because is what this article is about.

I was in Landmark Education for 20 years, and I went from seminar to seminar, from course to course, from training program to training program.

In the past three years I probably have done 20 programs, seminars, coaching programs… But only 3 in the past year. What happened?

Good question. I grew.

Very much the way you grow a muscle (especially if you are a body builder), one day you use/overuse a muscle, the next day you allow it to rest, and then do it again.

People that follow the pattern I followed for the 22 years leading up to this year, when I actually grew, actually NEVER grow. They use seminars as a way to avoid actually growing. I was guilty of this, myself. Secretly, in my heart, I knew that my parents were right, that no matter what I did, I would not amount to anything.

A year ago this all changed. I met this amazing woman, Pam Ragland, in a coaching program, where we were both students, ha-ha, how ironic. We struck up a conversation and she said that she can wipe away all my negative thoughts. I was desperate for my negative thougths to go away. Living with the pretense, that some day I was going to use all I learned… while that one day never came, was horrible.

I booked her for a private session, and from that one session I suddenly saw that maybe I was wrong, and maybe there is something I could do with my life. And, to my surprise, I found myself in action. That is when I saw how passionate I am about speakers’ success, and how much I would like to teach speakers to be effective at this craft.

Later I enrolled in Pam’s eight-month program that teaches how to drive this new me, that is now a Ferrari instead of a jalope.

I never doubted again that I can do it. I stopped going to seminars, I even cancelled two seminars I fully paid for. I am working, but I am working purposefully. Much like I used to work on a puzzle when I had the box showing the finished picture… fully knowing that all the pieces are there, and it only takes time to put it all together.

I can tell you, a dream life begins with that box cover… and that certainty. Some people can see it themselves, some people are lucky: some committed coach sees it for them. I am that kind of coach. I have never had a client that did not accomplish what I saw possible for them (boxcover).

Are you still going to all the seminars, reading all the books, buying all the programs, but the results you can show for all that learning are meager to say the least?

The natural way to grow, is to grow in spurts, and then consolidate. Grow intensely, and then harvest the benefits (use the knowledge) until the growth almost starts to slow down. The start it all over again.

Another inspiring clip of Nick Vujicic

Nick Vujicic… a public speaker you can learn from

Did Your Personality Get Put Together vs. You Were Born That Way?

I got a thank you note today. I get quite a few of those, I must admit.

They are a great way for me to track how the methodologies and principles I use in my teaching work. I mean, how effective I am, how effective the methods are. They track my ability to make a difference in the world. (Someone please remind me to write about how I view my making a difference… ok?)

This note reads

Today was a huge success. I did not even recognize myself. I was attempting to have a conversation with my sister when she became extreamly agressive upon trying to control me and failing. She was in my face yelling and pacing around in circles. I remained calm and did not attempt to defend myself as the lies flew at me. I was able to stick to the subject and not accuse. At this point her husband jumped in and tried to intimidate me, pointing his finger in my face and yelling. They both looked like mad men ganging up on me. I did not raise my voice or get emotional. This is the first time in my life I had no fear in a confrontaional situation and it felt GREAT! To be honest I think it frightened my sister & her husband. They did not know what to think of me, I have had many weaknesses in the past but now I am strong.

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