When and How You Should Argue with Your Coach?

This is important, and I hope everyone gets it.

As a coach, I often experience people taking my remarks as criticism, and are compelled to protect or defend themselves. I normally "fire them" as clients. Why? Because they are missing the point. And I am not about wasting my "Light" on black holes...

You hire a coach to point out what they can see from their point of view.

What is their point of view?

That is immaterial. The only thing that matters is that their point of view is not the same as yours, because their eyes (view... get it?) is not behind YOUR eyeballs.

When you are defending what you are doing, you are arguing for staying the same with the exact same results you have gotten thus far.

When you are willing, for a moment, to look and see what the other person is seeing, you are creating the possibility of a future, discontinuous from where your future has headed before this moment.

If my takeaway from this whole 8-week program that cost $1000 were ONLY that I should ask myself a question every time I set up an item on my todo list: "How is this going to make me money?" I would have gotten my money's worth. And more.

Often just asking this question will lead to multiples of that thousand bucks, and I have the opportunity to ask that question 4 times a day!

This is where millionaires are made, in these questions, and in the moments when a coach interferes with your "already always" way of looking at life and doing things.

Your job is to listen and look. And if you are a hotheaded Hungarian/Israeli/New Yorker, like me, you can curse under your breath, but look, nevertheless, and NEVER argue with a coach. It doesn't hurt them, it hurts YOU.

Merry Christmas.
Sophie

Yes? No? What is the truth about success in Internet Marketing?

You have read my previous post (if not, you should... here is the link) you will appreciate that once you enter a new paradigm, many of the old behaviors and beliefs will show up as a definitive blockages, barriers to fully live and benefit from the paradigm shift.

One could think that to enter the paradigm of success is enough, but my experience with myself and clients has shown that until you start practicing the actions that come from the world-view of the new paradigm, only your "head" will live in the new zone, your body and your circumstances will lag behind.

It's Monday morning, and I have been working on a project for about 3 weeks. A project like this takes 4-5 hours, so why has it been taking so long, for me.

I did a challenge for one of my classes last Tuesday. I started at 9:30 pm, finished and 10:15 pm. There are people in that class that are still working on the same challenge.

I personally and actively helped one of them. As we were on Teamviewer, a client support software, free to use, I had to deal with three things:

  1. the job in front of me, the actual doing,
  2. the job of commentary, so she can turn around and do it herself
  3. the constant chatter of the other student.

I took many hours to complete the task successfully. What was the difference between the 45-minute and the many-hour examples? It was one little thing: when I was doing it for myself, with the intent to win, I kept saying in my head: "Don't think, just follow instructions." It was a yes to doing and no to thinking, wandering, following links, doing unrelated tasks.

When I was doing it for the other student, her constant pull to unrelated questions and activities made the task a marathon instead of a sprint, and I had to stay up till 2 am... which is way past my bedtime.

So, can you guess what I have been doing this 4-hour project I have been attempting (trying) to complete for 3 weeks now? You guessed right: I have been doing everything else remotely connected to this task: logo design, logo redesign, searching for examples, searching for more examples, creating variations, and on and on and on.

Now, why would I do that? That's a real question... I'll give you the answer if you comment on this post. Guess why I've taken three weeks to "almost" complete a 4-hour task? If you guess correctly, I'll give you access to my membership site, www.faststartsecrets.com/members for a whole month for just 1 cent... it's worth hundreds.

OK, go and comment below.

If you were a company: what kind of company would you be?

We all come with different strengths... it could be said, they are inclinations. They are approaches to life and to challenges. When left to our own devices, we always do things the same way... good or bad, effective or not, we say "it should work" then it doesn't.

As a coach I have an unlimited source for ideas to share: my clients provide me with a wide variety of case studies, and insights into the successes and failures of systems, ideas. I am going to share one of these in this article:

When we just look at someone, we already know what they are capable of... or do we? We "see" that they are not cut out to have their own business because... and after that "because" there is a series of words, like they don't have vision, they work to much and don't have time to make money, etc.

Let's look at what is the underlying truth about all that instant insight.

We all come with different strengths... it could be said, they are inclinations. They are approaches to life and to challenges. When left to our own devices, we always do things the same way... good or bad, effective or not, we say "it should work" then it doesn't.

That secret inclination is called conation. the word is archaic, but the meaning isn't.

Not knowing about it has caused countless failures, so listen up.

Let's look at conation from a new point of view to shed light of what's wreaking havoc on your business, ok?

Each company needs a ceo. A ceo's job is to hold the vision of the company and its direction. His job is to know what to do to accomplish the company's goal.

The ceo looks at the company, and the world from his 22nd floor penthouse office, and sees the big picture, sees the connection between stuff... That's the ceo. He is the strategist, or the general of this war...

A company with just a ceo will not go far... and the penthouse office will soon be taken away.

The next job that needs to be filled is the job of a manager. The manager's job is to translate the ceo's vision into doable steps. Tactics are the domain of the manager. Timelines are the domain of the manager. Hiring the right staff is the domain of the manager. Keeping deadlines, answering questions... busy, busy, busy.

A company with just a ceo and a manager will not get much done either.

The next player in this game is the worker, who translates the how to and tactics and what have you, that the manager throws at them.

They build, they correct, they execute, they love to get things done.

Now, we are getting there... these three can make things happen.

But don't hurry just yet: there is a need for another player, because without that player the company will soon get into a rut. That player is the innovator, the maverick of the company, the mad scientist, the one without any sense of time, any sense of money... better keep him in a straight jacket...

Believe or not, each human has these four characters battling it out...

But the strength of these characters is different.

For some, the mad scientist runs the show... we all know people like that. I am one of them... ha-ha-ha... (that was supposed to be the eerie laugh of the mad scientis echoing fromt he empty walls of the dark corridors of the company after midnight when everyone is at home in their bed, but the scientist is roaming those corridors pondering his new breakthrough idea...)

Many others have a great upper management team, but no one to get the work done, and no one to innovate.

One of my students has an even distribution of strengths, but he is so chatty and so enamoured with the latest and greatest guru product, by the time he needs his ceo to tell the rest of the staff what to do, this ceo part of his is so exhausted, that the manager needs to take over.

What happens if and when the manager makes the decisions, predominantly?

Imagine that the task is to put up a sign on a wall. The ceo knows which wall, but leaves the  how to part to the manager.

But if there is no effective ceo, the manager will make the decision based on his criteria: he will pick the wall that is easiest to scale, that is closest to the workers, that is unobstructed by stuff, etc.

The result: there will be a sign on a wall... but the wrong wall. The company's vision is lost... or jeopardized. Time and resources spent on the wrong thing... a net loss.

Well, we can see this happening with this student of mine: he makes decisions based on: I can do it... or that sounds good, or I can afford it... and proceeds building a system that sounds good, but doesn't fit into the big picture, or goes in a totally different direction.

If you were a company: what kind of company would you be?

Make sure you let your voice heard. The best of the answers will win a one-on-one session with me... worth $250... minimum.

A free tool to find sites to place pcm ads... great tool

I'll admit it... I have been an internet marketing junkie. I buy more stuff than I have time to use.

Software, ebooks, reports, whole programs. Most of them are still in their wrappers or collecting "dust" on my computer.

Some, on the other hand are used and used and used.

I found something just like that this past week.

It's free, and it is amazing. I was thinking of hiring an assistant to do the work that it does, and probably the assistant would have done a worse job than this software for tons of money. I have been there, I have done that.

I am recommending this as a MUST-USE tool to anyone who wants more targeted traffic...

This free tool finds high-traffic, highly targeted sites that you can get a lot of traffic from for a lot less than normal PPC rates.

Go right now and try it...

This is a valuable free tool: http://www.sophieslist.com/

I love it. I have already got my eyes on some sites to get traffic from for an affiliate program that I had a hard time getting more traffic for. I would have had a hard time finding those sites, or it would have cost me hours of frustration to find them.

I'll probably make a Camtasia video to show how to benefit from it in the smartest way...

http://www.sophieslist.com/

Internet Marketing Case Study Part 1

Let me start with a little story:

There was once a farmer who had a donkey. The donkey was a real pain, it kicked and it bit...
One day the donkey fell into a well that was not in use.
The farmer tried to pull up the donkey from the well, but he did not succeed. He called for help and a few of his neighbors came, but even together they could not pull out the poor donkey.
The farmer had a change of heart and decided that the donkey was old, and it had only been trouble, so they will be all better off if they just bury the donkey. They will get rid of the old well and the donkey at the same time.
So they started to fill the well with dirt, one shovelful at a time.
The donkey, every time the dirt hit his back, shook himself and stepped up a little, on the top of the dirt. After half an hour or so, to the amazement of the farmers, the donkey stepped out of the hole and ran away. But before he ran, he bit the farmer well.
This story will play out well... in the following case study.

I will be painfully honest in this series of articles. It will be painful to me, because I will be admitting to some of my weaknesses. And it may be painful to some other marketer, who I decided not to mention by name, but he will recognize himself.

Now, the painful part: I have been in internet marketing, unconsciously and consciously, for 12-13 years.

I started by turning an offline wildly successful local magazine into an online venture, mainly because 1. printing was too expensive, 2. my health didn't make it easy for me to work that hard any longer, go to clubs, deliver magazines, go, go, go, work work work.

I didn't know I was in marketing. I was a publisher. I didn't know my main job was marketing, so I knew nothing about marketing. I did some stuff that I now consider marketing, but then... I didn't even have the word. I thought marketing was focus groups, and I despised that then.

So I didn't make any money, and only after quite a few years I started to make a full time income. By full time I mean I could pay the bills and eat. I mean I didn't have to have another job.

About five years ago I heard the word marketing in a different context, and this time it sounded like that is maybe what I should be doing... if I knew how to do it.

I started to study, but could not see how it applied to what I was already doing.

I learned that if I could build a mailing list, I could start to make more money than just paying the bills.

I met Tellman at the Underground Internet Marketing Seminar at breakfast, and shared with him. When he found out what kind of traffic my site had, he went ballistic. He was sure I was sitting on a million dollar goldmine. Everyone had always thought that, but all I could eke out is a meager living.

He told me exactly how to build a mailing list, then went his merry way. I tried. I failed at it.

I hired this coach for six months, that coach for six months... some increase, but still no mailing list.

Then I had a brainstorm, and managed to build a list of 278, fans, lovers of what I had to say, not buyers.

By that time I was successful with affiliate marketing in the self-improvement field, became good at ppc, could teach what to do (like a good basketball coach... not good at throwing baskets, lol), still no list.

In July of this year I took on a fellow bumbling, fumbling wannabe. I spoke authoritatively, so she trusted that I'll be able to guide her to make money.

She had few skills, little knowledge, so I decided that I'll teach her, but I'll use the energy of the relationship to fuel me to get through the stopping points, the rough spots, the walls I hadn't been able to go through. I wanted to scale high walls, I wanted to jump over big canyons... I wanted to become the basketball coach who can throw baskets. I wanted to become the internet marketing coach that made money doing internet marketing.

Continued in Part 2