Making A Difference... How Can YOU Make A Difference?

I have been nurturing this sense that I can make a difference in the world forever... I even remember at age 3-4 thinking about that, so it must have come from before birth...

Of course, life doesn't seem to prove it.

As a coach I may be able to change someone's behavior, maybe even contribute to them being high-minded, but all in all, my life, from the point of view of making a difference, has been a failure.

I am reaching for the starts, and I am coming up with a fistful of dirt... time and time again.

Is it because I am a bad coach? We could consider that. Or we could consider that I am a David fighting not one but a billion Goliaths in the form of media: newspapers, television, and other brainwashing devices.

I don't participate in the brainwashing much, only through clients sharing some of the input they have gotten, that penetrated their conscious, though the delivery method of these devices is hypnotic... The stuff they share has provided an insight of how come I have been an ineffective person in accomplishing my life's purpose, causing massive transformation on the planet.

I found today this amazing 5-minute video on Dr. Mercola's site. Now, Dr. Mercola is not my favorite person, but he has impeccable taste and judgment on videos, and this one is no exception.

In this movie the two parts that interplay are the turning of the hypnotic devices and adapting the new belief that you and a bunch of you can make a difference.

Pay special attention to the unexpected behavior of the buffalo, or whatever that dark-skinned animal is in the movie... I gasped. I thought: animation... but what if this is real. What if we are supposed to turn against our oppressors, and protect our own, show our strength, and take our planet back?

Watch it. It is very thought provoking and mobilizing: I can feel some power welling up in me... imagine that!

I feel like a winner

As far as I remember, I've always wanted to be a winner. Why? Because I felt like a loser.

Just an interesting aside... after writing the whole post, at this point my wordpress crashed and I lost everything I wrote. I have autosave off... silly me. So what does a winner do? I don't know for sure, I tell you what I did: I'll write the whole thing again, not from memory, but like I have never done it before. Why? Because when I started this post, I committed to sharing the insight I got, so you too can become a winner. Yaaay!

Anyway... I left off where I am sharing, that today, specifically this morning, even more specifically about 30 minutes ago, I had a distinct giddy feeling that I am being a winner. And then the thought came: it seems that winner as a feeling comes coupled with winner as an activity... not as an actuality, mind you, you may not win the game but because you have been competing, you have been winning, against the tiredness, the obstacles, the common attitude of "why bother".

This is how it all started: A few months ago, in Robert Plank's class, I saw that with just a little effort and speed, one can become a winner. If you just posted your intention first, it didn't matter when you completed that task, you automatically became the winner.

So I watched the webinars, had a text doc ready with the word: challenge on top, and waited for the challenge to be spelled out. I typed as Robert typed, and in another browser window I was ready to post my challenge. It took 3-4 weeks before Jeanette Cates caught up to me, then Helen Raptoplous... but I got the bug. The bug of ambition, competitiveness, the desire to win. Then I heard someone say "entrepreneurs must be competitive" and suddenly it made sense.

You see, I grew up in a Holocaust survivor family in Hungary, and my parents, especially my mother, were against standing out, against being visible, against any competition. Maybe that's why when I won math competitions she didn't bother to congratulate me. Or singing competitions. Or physics competitions. Or being admitted to architecture school with the highest score... or becoming the third woman ever to become a master bricklayer, so that I can build houses not just design them, and the list goes on.

It seemed that no amount of winning will make my mother love me, so somehow, somewhere, I gave up. I settled for a life of quiet desperation, dreaming of winning but never actually putting myself in the position to win.

I didn't realize that you need a challenge to win... no challenge, no winning, no winner, no energy, no nothing.

OK. What happens when you give yourself over to a challenge? Because it is clear that your usual slow as molasses attitude will not win you any prizes... challenge or no challenge.

hm, I must be up against some strong force, the blog crashed for the third time this morning... write, lose it, write lose it, oh well... I am not giving up

What seems to be happening is quite miraculous.

All your cells, all your brain waves, all your focus start to play the same "tune", which is just another way of saying that there seems to be a sudden and unusual coherence, where the sum of the parts does not even begin to express the whole.

You are smarter. You are meticulous. You are calm. You are, like a precision well oiled machine is able to reach the moon.

This phenomenon is rare, but it is real. Like the mother who lifts a car that pinned her son. She is 120 lbs and the car is 600. Her whole self organizes itself, in that moment, to accomplish that one task:lifting the car.

I am familiar with it in the day before my leaving for a trip. I create and accomplish tasks that come from a sudden creativity I would be silly to ignore. I manage to communicate, back-up my files, prep my laptop, check all details, pack, feed my cats, do the laundry, do the dishes, lower the thermostat... a thousand details, all done, never missing anything. I don't like traveling but love the day or two before.

I love being in this hightened state. But until now, I didn't know how to cause it at will.

But now, thanks to Robert Plank and his challenging me, I have learned it and there is no way back!

These have been the phases of my learning:

  1. I attempted to be the first to post my challenge in webinars
  2. I worked furiously to accomplish the tasks in the challenges... lots of mess, including my famous or infamous kunaki video
  3. I signed up to am2 gold and had to listen to Robert challenging me to complete the 100 point challenge to get into Platinum. Little does he know that the fee for platinum is way higher than what I can wing right now, but who knows, maybe with all this challenge stuff I'll make some money in the end? lol
  4. I managed to get 11 points approved. it took me two weeks.
  5. I heard that you can win five big ones if you have 65 points approved by Armand Morin Live. I am going for it.
  6. I work days, I work nights, I work holidays, it's hopeless, but I am not giving up.
  7. I apply to the "better your best" contest, due by October of 2010. I am at about 800 dollars a month now. I apply in the category of increasing revenue and bottom line. I see myself a 100K earner by the deadline. That should do it, going from almost beginner to almost top 2-3 percent... let's do it.
  8. I don't know if it is points of percentages, so at the submission deadline I submit 67%. 54 gets approved. the rest declined. Quick decision time: is it an oh-well, or is it a hell-no? I choose hell-no, and keep on working. I resubmit most of those, all that I have the means to correct now.

This was the exact point where I had the insight. You see, being a winner sounds like a pure state of mind. But if you look behind the curtain, there is a lot going on that must be there for this delicious sense to be there: ambition, risk-taking, commitment, dedication, but most importantly putting yourself in the position of winning and in the position of not winning, i.e. losing, failing, visibly, to all to know that I am not perfect.

As if they didn't already know. lol

If you were a company: what kind of company would you be?

We all come with different strengths... it could be said, they are inclinations. They are approaches to life and to challenges. When left to our own devices, we always do things the same way... good or bad, effective or not, we say "it should work" then it doesn't.

As a coach I have an unlimited source for ideas to share: my clients provide me with a wide variety of case studies, and insights into the successes and failures of systems, ideas. I am going to share one of these in this article:

When we just look at someone, we already know what they are capable of... or do we? We "see" that they are not cut out to have their own business because... and after that "because" there is a series of words, like they don't have vision, they work to much and don't have time to make money, etc.

Let's look at what is the underlying truth about all that instant insight.

We all come with different strengths... it could be said, they are inclinations. They are approaches to life and to challenges. When left to our own devices, we always do things the same way... good or bad, effective or not, we say "it should work" then it doesn't.

That secret inclination is called conation. the word is archaic, but the meaning isn't.

Not knowing about it has caused countless failures, so listen up.

Let's look at conation from a new point of view to shed light of what's wreaking havoc on your business, ok?

Each company needs a ceo. A ceo's job is to hold the vision of the company and its direction. His job is to know what to do to accomplish the company's goal.

The ceo looks at the company, and the world from his 22nd floor penthouse office, and sees the big picture, sees the connection between stuff... That's the ceo. He is the strategist, or the general of this war...

A company with just a ceo will not go far... and the penthouse office will soon be taken away.

The next job that needs to be filled is the job of a manager. The manager's job is to translate the ceo's vision into doable steps. Tactics are the domain of the manager. Timelines are the domain of the manager. Hiring the right staff is the domain of the manager. Keeping deadlines, answering questions... busy, busy, busy.

A company with just a ceo and a manager will not get much done either.

The next player in this game is the worker, who translates the how to and tactics and what have you, that the manager throws at them.

They build, they correct, they execute, they love to get things done.

Now, we are getting there... these three can make things happen.

But don't hurry just yet: there is a need for another player, because without that player the company will soon get into a rut. That player is the innovator, the maverick of the company, the mad scientist, the one without any sense of time, any sense of money... better keep him in a straight jacket...

Believe or not, each human has these four characters battling it out...

But the strength of these characters is different.

For some, the mad scientist runs the show... we all know people like that. I am one of them... ha-ha-ha... (that was supposed to be the eerie laugh of the mad scientis echoing fromt he empty walls of the dark corridors of the company after midnight when everyone is at home in their bed, but the scientist is roaming those corridors pondering his new breakthrough idea...)

Many others have a great upper management team, but no one to get the work done, and no one to innovate.

One of my students has an even distribution of strengths, but he is so chatty and so enamoured with the latest and greatest guru product, by the time he needs his ceo to tell the rest of the staff what to do, this ceo part of his is so exhausted, that the manager needs to take over.

What happens if and when the manager makes the decisions, predominantly?

Imagine that the task is to put up a sign on a wall. The ceo knows which wall, but leaves the  how to part to the manager.

But if there is no effective ceo, the manager will make the decision based on his criteria: he will pick the wall that is easiest to scale, that is closest to the workers, that is unobstructed by stuff, etc.

The result: there will be a sign on a wall... but the wrong wall. The company's vision is lost... or jeopardized. Time and resources spent on the wrong thing... a net loss.

Well, we can see this happening with this student of mine: he makes decisions based on: I can do it... or that sounds good, or I can afford it... and proceeds building a system that sounds good, but doesn't fit into the big picture, or goes in a totally different direction.

If you were a company: what kind of company would you be?

Make sure you let your voice heard. The best of the answers will win a one-on-one session with me... worth $250... minimum.

Internet Marketing Kindergarten

In this article I start the conversation about Universal Laws that you can unwittingly and unknowingly violate and fail before you start.

I posted a "note" on my facebook profile today... on the universal law, The Law of Process, that is dismissed by millions of wannabees... and that may be the most important insight I have ever had with regards to why people don't act in spite of their lofty dreams.

And then later today I heard Jim Edwards' inspired rant about the same thing... using his own going-to-the-gym as an example of how one can actually take action on what they want... in his case, go to the gym and work out, seriously.

And I also heard his resigned "ehh" off camera at the end of the video.

We, coaches, all feel that way. We want you to succeed... we can take you to the water, but we can't force you to drink.. And, it seems, you don't, even though, you say, you are thirsty....

So my note, and my planned Internet Kindergarten may be a solution for some... I won't kid myself that it is for everyone... but for the ones that if you put their snout into the water, they wake up, they say "water" and start drinking it...

Are you one of them?

Send me an email at
to get yourself on my notification list.

It will be fun.