There are many schools of thought. I am most attracted to the paradigm of the holographic universe AND the very compatible older one: the kabbalistic world view.

Either there is a shift in consciousness all over, or I live in a bubble of such shift... because my students, my friends are all shifting... dramatically.

One friend/client/mastermind partner, we have been speaking at least once a week for over 15 years...  I have been sharing with him a lot as my world is shifting from atheism to the holographic universe, where there is intelligence, where things are not random and capricious... and until this past Sunday he listened curiously, but never from the inside... you know what I mean, like you look into a dungeon... but have no desire to enter it, neither as the person who gives, nor the one who gets the punishment... lol.

I call that mildly interested. The classic involvement of the hen in the making of a ham and eggs... I have always taken the pig's side... involved... invested, committed... completely.

This past Sunday he shared with me that someone had offered him to send over three angels who are traveling all over and need a new home to rest for three days. In return for the favor he can get three of his wished answered.

That immediately brought back the memory of this past Rosh Hashanah, with its choices of three wishes, sustenance, health, or the holy spirit...

He hungrily jumped on the opportunity to trade three days of his life for eternal bliss, or at least for a little courage.

I started writing this article three months ago, and now I am looking back at this, in amazement.

Since September, he has retired from his government job. He has taken control of a property he already owned, but didn't take responsibility for his ownership: and he is building a name for himself as the best landlord this side of the Mississipi.

Our conversations turned into search parties into his talents, and it is a ton of fun.

He may be able to accomplish his lifelong dream, becoming a millionaire in assets. Because, he sounds to me as if he had turned from sheepish to courageous: in just a few short months.

Now, figure that.

As a coach, I often experience people taking my remarks as criticism, and are compelled to protect or defend themselves. I normally "fire them" as clients. Why? Because they are missing the point. And I am not about wasting my "Light" on black holes...

You hire a coach to point out what they can see from their point of view.

What is their point of view?

That is immaterial. The only thing that matters is that their point of view is not the same as yours, because their eyes (view... get it?) is not behind YOUR eyeballs.

When you are defending what you are doing, you are arguing for staying the same with the exact same results you have gotten thus far.

When you are willing, for a moment, to look and see what the other person is seeing, you are creating the possibility of a future, discontinuous from where your future has headed before this moment.

If my takeaway from this whole 8-week program that cost $1000 were ONLY that I should ask myself a question every time I set up an item on my todo list: "How is this going to make me money?" I would have gotten my money's worth. And more.

Often just asking this question will lead to multiples of that thousand bucks, and I have the opportunity to ask that question 4 times a day!

This is where millionaires are made, in these questions, and in the moments when a coach interferes with your "already always" way of looking at life and doing things.

Your job is to listen and look. And if you are a hotheaded Hungarian/Israeli/New Yorker, like me, you can curse under your breath, but look, nevertheless, and NEVER argue with a coach. It doesn't hurt them, it hurts YOU.

Merry Christmas.
Sophie

What I don't love is getting all the people that end up with me that got their start with other coaches... coaches that lack the most fundamental elements of teaching, attitudes , thinking, foundation, and actions steps.

I mean... after all they call it internet BUSINESS... so one could expect that some business know-how rubs off on these coaches... but it doesn't seem that way to me. At least when I look at their results: clueless students.

The latest evidence for the current marketing training culture I had last night when one of my students kept on griping why I would not coddle and nurture his inane, stupid, clumsy, poorly thought out, unproven attempts at product creation. Why I don't tell him "this is good and you could change this, or you could change that..." type of politically correct but mistaken and damaging way of teaching and leading someone to success.

When I learned (and later taught) architecture, the typical scenario was:

1. you had an idea. you put it on paper and you brought it in for your twice a week consultation.
2. the teacher looked at it, placed a semi-transparent sketching paper on top of it, and drew his "response" to your idea. Most of the time there seemed to be no connection: just that HIS idea was triggered by your idea.
3. you went home, you draw the idea, to scale, on paper an brought it back to your next consultation.
4. the teacher looked at it, placed a semi-transparent sketching paper on top of it, and drew his "response" to your idea. Most of the time there seemed to be no connection: just that HIS idea was triggered by your idea.
5. you went home, you draw the idea, to scale, on paper an brought it back to your next consultation.

You did this for the next 20-25 times. Then it was time to finalize the plan, so he stopped getting triggered.

You got a grade. You went through this process about 10 times during your 5-year training. On the other end you came out as an architect. You wondered if you were talented or you had good teachers. But you found out soon enough. Your grades reflected your talent and your willingness to take correction very accurately.

I had an A- from all my design subjects. I became an award winning architect. Some of my friends had B's or even C's and their later achievements showed a consistent level... go figure.

Had the teacher told me: this is really good, just try to change this or that, I would have stayed in my own little world of puny. Never would have gone the 20+ incarnation of the same project, 200-300 during my studies. I would have become an "I can design one type of building, if you want that, come along." type of architect. Boring, and not very satisfying, not very profitable.

The architecture school I was studying at and later taught at had a success rate of 90 percent. Internet marketing programs, coaching programs, apprentice programs, etc. have a less than 5% success rate.

Do you think the teaching methodology has something to do with it? ... and the fact that ALL teachers at architecture school had to be successful working architects or they would lose their job?

Do you thing the selection process has something to do with it? To get into architecture school you needed to be better than 95% of the applicants: there were 20 people vying for every spot. My best friend got in only the second time around. She is a good architect, still working. Not great, but good.

Today I teach internet marketing the same way. the student has the idea, works it up, maybe records it, writes it, slides, mindmap, the whole nine yard. Then we meet on the internet and I do the equivalent of the sketch paper: I suggest a new way of doing the whole project. He goes home and does the whole thing again. Some whine that I didn't coddle them. Some get discouraged. But all learn. All... unless they don't have the mental toughness to stick it out.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped
them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote
some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would
see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to
the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to
see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were
you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a
different way." I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it."

Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply
said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so
lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second
sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be
innovative. Think differently and positively.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000
reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present
with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith
and drop the fear.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling|
And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!

Although the though underlying this book is quite simple, if you look with knowing eyes, if your eyes are not the "knowing" types, it is going to be quite a challenge to follow the thought process that changes you from a wannabe to an owner and a doer of your desires.

What? My thoughts are positive... you say, and you prove it to me by saying: I am happy, I am great... but yet, your life proves just the opposite.

Your life is a mirror of your dominant thoughts and beliefs... and that is that. You don't have to look what your thoughts and beliefs are in your head, you can just look outside.

Now, how come that even people who know this haven't been able to move from misery to bliss?

There is a little hidden truth that is not as known as it could be, because our MacDonalds way of thinking drowns it out.

Truth #1: You can get from where you are to where you want to be, even if it is three thousand miles from you.

Truth #2: You can't get there in one jump, or even in two.

Truth #3: You can get from point A to point B to point C easily... but you can't get from A to Z in one jump.

So what are you saying, Sophie, you are confusing me...

Am I? If you are 80K in depth, it won't disappear at once. If you are 800K in depth... that won't disappear at once.

Both are your point A, and your job is to get to point B first.

But I don't mean start paying off your lowest debt first... though it is not a bad idea. I mean first take yourself from a vibrational state where you will continue repel money coming to you and debt rushing to you to a vibrational/emotional state where the mood and feeling of your emotion is slightly gentler and higher than it is now.

Imagine yourself 800K in debt. Can you? For me it is easier to imagine being in debt 10K... but that's me: I have no debt. So 10K would mean for me: deep in debt.

Now look at your thoughts: will you find that there is a great despair and hopelessness under all your hopeful and cheerful words of pretense optimism?

So what would be point B of a situation like that?

I have one that I can think of: 800K is like 10K... once the ice cap starts to melt the whole iceberg is ready to go, unless I start adding to it...

Now, that is not such a bad thought, is it? It talks about something that gives you a glimmer of hope that can't be denied. but, you say, I will probably first need to add to that mountain before I can melt it...

Well, how about (and this will be point C! Pay attention!) if I start building a big fire and to build it and I still add to the iceberg temporarily, it still is the beginning of the end of the iceberg: because a big fire can melt any size of iceberg... so I am home free, right?

Do you see that I am starting to take responsibility for the solution instead of watching that mountain grow and feel incapacitated and incapable to make a dent in it?

Well, this is the Deliberate Creation of Abraham/Hicks, and it is wonderful, and it is gentle, and it works.

Here is an article I found: it is good, and it looks yet another way to increase your vibration to match what you want just a little better.

Think Like An Optimist

Many experts will tell you that when you change the way you look at things, you will change your life – and it’s true. If you’re sitting around expecting the worst of things, you’ll be certain to find the worst of things. You’ll find all of your mistakes along the way to your goals. You’ll notice all of the problems with your plan. And then you’ll stop trying because you’ve noticed that everything is going wrong.

This is where a lot of people fumble on the way to their happiness and the changes that they want to make. By trying so hard to recognize the bad things in their life, they forget about those things that are working well.

For just one day, try to see your life through the eyes of an optimist – a complete optimist. This might seem silly at first, but what you’re doing is bringing another perspective, an objective perspective into your view of the world.

Optimists look at the world as though it only has good things to offer and in that thinking, they see the opportunities for learning and growth, rather than the obstacles in their way. Instead of getting upset about the car that cut them off in traffic, they hope that there wasn’t an emergency that caused the driver to need to go so fast.

Optimism takes practice. What you might want to do is start thinking about your life as though it were the life of a good friend that you have. When you sense that something is wrong in your day, try to change your thinking to being more positive. For example, when your friend loses his or her job, you don’t tell her that it was because they were the worst employee (though you might tell yourself this), you tell them that it wasn’t their fault and that there must have been another reason.

When you start treating yourself and your life the way that you would treat a good friend, you start to see possibility in life, rather than problems.

An optimist is simply someone that strives to look for the good in everything. Just for today, you can try to do the same. Is it a realistic way to be every day? Who knows? But what you are doing is allowing your life to be as wonderful as you want it to be, and maybe as wonderful as it already is. You just weren’t looking for it.

Of course, life doesn't seem to prove it.

As a coach I may be able to change someone's behavior, maybe even contribute to them being high-minded, but all in all, my life, from the point of view of making a difference, has been a failure.

I am reaching for the starts, and I am coming up with a fistful of dirt... time and time again.

Is it because I am a bad coach? We could consider that. Or we could consider that I am a David fighting not one but a billion Goliaths in the form of media: newspapers, television, and other brainwashing devices.

I don't participate in the brainwashing much, only through clients sharing some of the input they have gotten, that penetrated their conscious, though the delivery method of these devices is hypnotic... The stuff they share has provided an insight of how come I have been an ineffective person in accomplishing my life's purpose, causing massive transformation on the planet.

I found today this amazing 5-minute video on Dr. Mercola's site. Now, Dr. Mercola is not my favorite person, but he has impeccable taste and judgment on videos, and this one is no exception.

In this movie the two parts that interplay are the turning of the hypnotic devices and adapting the new belief that you and a bunch of you can make a difference.

Pay special attention to the unexpected behavior of the buffalo, or whatever that dark-skinned animal is in the movie... I gasped. I thought: animation... but what if this is real. What if we are supposed to turn against our oppressors, and protect our own, show our strength, and take our planet back?

Watch it. It is very thought provoking and mobilizing: I can feel some power welling up in me... imagine that!

Just an interesting aside... after writing the whole post, at this point my wordpress crashed and I lost everything I wrote. I have autosave off... silly me. So what does a winner do? I don't know for sure, I tell you what I did: I'll write the whole thing again, not from memory, but like I have never done it before. Why? Because when I started this post, I committed to sharing the insight I got, so you too can become a winner. Yaaay!

Anyway... I left off where I am sharing, that today, specifically this morning, even more specifically about 30 minutes ago, I had a distinct giddy feeling that I am being a winner. And then the thought came: it seems that winner as a feeling comes coupled with winner as an activity... not as an actuality, mind you, you may not win the game but because you have been competing, you have been winning, against the tiredness, the obstacles, the common attitude of "why bother".

This is how it all started: A few months ago, in Robert Plank's class, I saw that with just a little effort and speed, one can become a winner. If you just posted your intention first, it didn't matter when you completed that task, you automatically became the winner.

So I watched the webinars, had a text doc ready with the word: challenge on top, and waited for the challenge to be spelled out. I typed as Robert typed, and in another browser window I was ready to post my challenge. It took 3-4 weeks before Jeanette Cates caught up to me, then Helen Raptoplous... but I got the bug. The bug of ambition, competitiveness, the desire to win. Then I heard someone say "entrepreneurs must be competitive" and suddenly it made sense.

You see, I grew up in a Holocaust survivor family in Hungary, and my parents, especially my mother, were against standing out, against being visible, against any competition. Maybe that's why when I won math competitions she didn't bother to congratulate me. Or singing competitions. Or physics competitions. Or being admitted to architecture school with the highest score... or becoming the third woman ever to become a master bricklayer, so that I can build houses not just design them, and the list goes on.

It seemed that no amount of winning will make my mother love me, so somehow, somewhere, I gave up. I settled for a life of quiet desperation, dreaming of winning but never actually putting myself in the position to win.

I didn't realize that you need a challenge to win... no challenge, no winning, no winner, no energy, no nothing.

OK. What happens when you give yourself over to a challenge? Because it is clear that your usual slow as molasses attitude will not win you any prizes... challenge or no challenge.

hm, I must be up against some strong force, the blog crashed for the third time this morning... write, lose it, write lose it, oh well... I am not giving up

What seems to be happening is quite miraculous.

All your cells, all your brain waves, all your focus start to play the same "tune", which is just another way of saying that there seems to be a sudden and unusual coherence, where the sum of the parts does not even begin to express the whole.

You are smarter. You are meticulous. You are calm. You are, like a precision well oiled machine is able to reach the moon.

This phenomenon is rare, but it is real. Like the mother who lifts a car that pinned her son. She is 120 lbs and the car is 600. Her whole self organizes itself, in that moment, to accomplish that one task:lifting the car.

I am familiar with it in the day before my leaving for a trip. I create and accomplish tasks that come from a sudden creativity I would be silly to ignore. I manage to communicate, back-up my files, prep my laptop, check all details, pack, feed my cats, do the laundry, do the dishes, lower the thermostat... a thousand details, all done, never missing anything. I don't like traveling but love the day or two before.

I love being in this hightened state. But until now, I didn't know how to cause it at will.

But now, thanks to Robert Plank and his challenging me, I have learned it and there is no way back!

These have been the phases of my learning:

1. I attempted to be the first to post my challenge in webinars
2. I worked furiously to accomplish the tasks in the challenges... lots of mess, including my famous or infamous kunaki video
3. I signed up to am2 gold and had to listen to Robert challenging me to complete the 100 point challenge to get into Platinum. Little does he know that the fee for platinum is way higher than what I can wing right now, but who knows, maybe with all this challenge stuff I'll make some money in the end? lol
4. I managed to get 11 points approved. it took me two weeks.
5. I heard that you can win five big ones if you have 65 points approved by Armand Morin Live. I am going for it.
6. I work days, I work nights, I work holidays, it's hopeless, but I am not giving up.
7. I apply to the "better your best" contest, due by October of 2010. I am at about 800 dollars a month now. I apply in the category of increasing revenue and bottom line. I see myself a 100K earner by the deadline. That should do it, going from almost beginner to almost top 2-3 percent... let's do it.
8. I don't know if it is points of percentages, so at the submission deadline I submit 67%. 54 gets approved. the rest declined. Quick decision time: is it an oh-well, or is it a hell-no? I choose hell-no, and keep on working. I resubmit most of those, all that I have the means to correct now.

This was the exact point where I had the insight. You see, being a winner sounds like a pure state of mind. But if you look behind the curtain, there is a lot going on that must be there for this delicious sense to be there: ambition, risk-taking, commitment, dedication, but most importantly putting yourself in the position of winning and in the position of not winning, i.e. losing, failing, visibly, to all to know that I am not perfect.

As if they didn't already know. lol

It's Black Friday. Now, don't ask me to tell you why it is called Black Friday: I don't know and I don't want to know.

What I do know is that today I experienced something that you want to hear, you want to learn from, today, and the rest of the year, black, pink red, blue days... any day.

Ok, a little background information: I normally don't read my emails. I normally keep myself walled away in blissful ignorance of what's hot, what I should buy, launches and the like. Not today.

For some reason, maybe because I decided to stay at home, alone, for Thanksgiving, I left myself wide open to the onslaught of marketing messages you probably get every day, including this very day.

I have chosen only two messages to read and follow up, which is not what most people do, and those two messages pushed me into a state that made me intensely curious and made me want to write this blogpost.

I have fallen a "I will never amount to anything" mood. I have fallen into a place, where those marketers have it, and I have nothing. Where all the answers to my problems are out there, with those marketers, and if I don't get it, or even if I do, I am doomed.

Not a pretty picture, is it? Now, if this had happened a year ago, I would have thought that it is personal. Because a year ago I was coaching a few people, but I wasn't in the position to see people, over time, 3-4 times a week, with their moods, with their ambitions and trials and tribulations. Now, I am.

And what I am seeing is that this is normal.

The marketing messages are designed this way. The marketing messages want you to think that "they" have the solution that you need, and that without them you are nothing, a hopeless wannabe, better off burying yourself off into some sandy dune...

Is this new? Probably not entirely new. Probably many of my past purchases have come from this same place: I remember when I spent my rent money on Frank Kern's Mind Control. Or The apprentice program. Or Smarts...

All of them proved to be not so inevitable to my success, in fact they did nothing for me. NOT A THING!

But, of course, this is a lot like gambling: hope is eternal, and you are hoping that this time it will be true, this time it will solve all my problems I didn't know I had.

And that last sentence is really key: skillful copy writing, skillful mind control, will create problems that you didn't know you had so that you can buy the exact solution to that problem that doesn't exist other than in your mind, now that you were told that you have that problem.

Like the "it" factor by Jason Moffat. Like the miracle supplement by Mark Joyner. (These were the two emails I read, uncharacteristically) today.

And, if you buy the solutions (that you won't have time to digest given that you already have 47 solutions that you don't have time to read, watch, listen to, implement) you are out of money, and go deeper into the hole and into hopelessness.

If you don't buy the solution, it gnaws at you until you buy it, or do something to get rid of the "parasite" that attached itself to your gut.

It is not an accident that I am using this parasite analogy: I have two cats that occasionally get a parasite until I rid them off it.

Their behavior is very similar to the behavior these sales practices create in you: craving. Craving something you don't need, only the parasite needs.

When my cats have the parasites, they eat like machines, they yowl all day for more food... food they don't need. Only the paraside nudges them to get more food so the parasite can get bigger, fatter, multipy, and eventually destroy its host.

After I spent my rent money repeatedly, I was out of the game for almost two years... had not money, wasn't in the market to buy every shiny object.

It didn't quite kill me, but almost. I watched the parasite "almost" entering my system today... I caught it, in just a nick of time.

But the real cost is: seeing the solution outside of myself, I stop generating my own actions, and look for the power outside of myself.

When I look at periods in my life when I was successful, I always generated the solutions from within, instead of wasting time researching, learning, etc.

When I was an architect, I looked at the terrain, I looked at the specs, and designed a winning building.

When I was a magazine publisher, I wrote an article from what I knew, designed an ad for an advertiser from what I knew... and life was working, money was coming in, no time was wasted.

When I was coaching someone, when I listened keenly, the solution was there, in the speaking of the client: I didn't have to waste time researching.

When I had money making projects in marketing, I just did it... and tweaked it from what was in front of me.

When I wanted to write an article, I wrote an article... no research, no looking for the power outside of myself.

But when I bought products, and courses, and software: I suddenly assigned magical powers to that piece of stuff and guess what I gave up at the same time? Looking for the power from within, that is the key to actual implementation.

Now, of course, it is important to learn. But the rule I learned along the way has been a winning one: you need a little bit of information, and a lot of implementing, if you want to be successful.

Most people reverse this, and never get out of the gate. And savvy operators, marketers, pry on you when you do that.

I got a taste of that today.

One could think that to enter the paradigm of success is enough, but my experience with myself and clients has shown that until you start practicing the actions that come from the world-view of the new paradigm, only your "head" will live in the new zone, your body and your circumstances will lag behind.

It's Monday morning, and I have been working on a project for about 3 weeks. A project like this takes 4-5 hours, so why has it been taking so long, for me.

I did a challenge for one of my classes last Tuesday. I started at 9:30 pm, finished and 10:15 pm. There are people in that class that are still working on the same challenge.

I personally and actively helped one of them. As we were on Teamviewer, a client support software, free to use, I had to deal with three things:

1. the job in front of me, the actual doing,
2. the job of commentary, so she can turn around and do it herself
3. the constant chatter of the other student.

I took many hours to complete the task successfully. What was the difference between the 45-minute and the many-hour examples? It was one little thing: when I was doing it for myself, with the intent to win, I kept saying in my head: "Don't think, just follow instructions." It was a yes to doing and no to thinking, wandering, following links, doing unrelated tasks.

When I was doing it for the other student, her constant pull to unrelated questions and activities made the task a marathon instead of a sprint, and I had to stay up till 2 am... which is way past my bedtime.

So, can you guess what I have been doing this 4-hour project I have been attempting (trying) to complete for 3 weeks now? You guessed right: I have been doing everything else remotely connected to this task: logo design, logo redesign, searching for examples, searching for more examples, creating variations, and on and on and on.

Now, why would I do that? That's a real question... I'll give you the answer if you comment on this post. Guess why I've taken three weeks to "almost" complete a 4-hour task? If you guess correctly, I'll give you access to my membership site, www.faststartsecrets.com/members for a whole month for just 1 cent... it's worth hundreds.

OK, go and comment below.

I am training people to become Internet Marketers, and in the process I am becoming one myself.

Teaching something that you haven't accomplished is quite an excellent process, if you can stay in the inquiry, instead of pretending that you have it together. The latter would lead to misinformation, lying, fraud, and the whole nine yards.

Telling the truth that you have some tools, you have a commitment, and you don't know your a-ss from your elbow, is a better way to play this "game." This is how I play, and it's been working out for all parties. It's not smooth, but then, no learning is smooth: any learning worth a dime includes breaking out of tiny boxes, breaking out of the prison of what you already know, painful, and not smooth at all.

I am going to share some of my recent insights in this article: something I haven't even formulated in my head, so pray that it comes out right, ok?

I did a course 22 years ago that I learned to add "thank you" to every check I write, whether it is my rent check, or a commission check... all the same. I have been doing it for ever, and it has managed to change my relationship to money: money is a communication device to say thank you. I am not kidding you, money is little thank you notes.

Whenever a commission notice hits my inbox, I say "thank you."

I have become a grateful person. I even whisper inside "I don't deserve it" to avoid the transaction part, the deal part, the "I gave this to you, and I earned that money" thought, that degrades all of life into the low vibration of commerce. Machiavelli, and the like.

In my 20 years in Landmark I was working diligently to live for some possibility that is waaay beyond me... and I got poorer and poorer in the process.

Something was missing. From Kabbalah I learned that it was desire, it was being able to harness the ego, to use its energy, for something that is worth being, doing and having. Result? Trying. And you know what trying is? A code word for nothing. Not doing. Not succeeding.

Backtrack to May of this year: I was asked to coach a group of people who signed up to a course I had done. To the best of my knowledge, that course never produced anyone who made a penny with their efforts as a result of participating.

I decided (ego) to create the first group that does... and that was the very first time in my life that I started to travel on the back of ego, get energy from ego, but yet, act in the interest of many, including mine.

To be armed with more knowledge... hey, I know what I know and what I don't! I enrolled in a webinar series called "Product University" with Robert Plank and Lance Tamashiro. I lucked out. Their course was something different, not your usual information delivery system, it was actually a course with course work, challenges, the chance to win or lose.

I was so impressed that I took, concurrently, another class with these two guys, "Webinar Crusher".

My desire to want to achieve something started to be awakened. In their next course, "Video Sales Letters 2.0" I found myself wanting to win challenges, wanting to be the first: competitiveness, one of the most important characteristics of an entrepreneur, surfaced. By now, in their "Membership Cube" I am fiercely competitive, passionately ambitious, asking for help, setting hard to accomplish goals... and in front of you is a newly born, healthy human being who shredded all the self sacrifice, all the "I don't matter", all the b.s. some religions and some self-help programs teach, to the detriment of the participants.

It takes energy to accomplish anything. It takes spiritual energy. When you suppress it or leak it (by being a rescuer or helper) you are not helping anyone. You are helping the Dark Side, the part of life that is not affirming to Life.

I always cringed from people who preach "Love" or "Luv", but it takes one to know one. I don't cringe any more, I have nothing in common with them.

I am now of the firm belief that I need to become big, give all I got, become the best and most I can become, that is the way I can help the most people.

And I now trust that the newfound ambition and competitiveness will help me through all the stopping points, all the sticking points, all the "walls" I have been stopped by: you need a lot of energy to accomplish anything meaningful.

Giving up being a helper/rescuer is giving me enough energy for that.

Our filter or translator between reality and our mind is words. What we can't put words around, we can't see.

The natives could not see the Santa Maria because they didn't have a word for sails, or big ship... they had word for ripple in the ocean, but it didn't translate to potential enemies landing and slaughtering them...

The original IQ test measured largely our capacity to mirror the world with words. Even the logical tests can only be done if and when someone has a concept of triangles, or sequential numbers... all words.

What happens when your vocabulary is tiny, and you use a word that you have but isn't the correct word to express what others see... you end up with a picture of reality that leaves you vulnerable, alone, isolated, and incapable of living in society.

Seriously abused children, when they grow up, become like this: always ready to be hurt. If, by the grace of God, they manage to re-learn reality by adding new words and connecting them to what they see differently, they can integrate into society and can be very successful and very useful for others.

Most people learn their language from healthy, well-adjusted people, and thus don't have to go through this upgrade, but many do.

If your history included being unloved, unwanted, you may have associated yourself with garbage... I myself called myself disposable, and throw-away, but luckily not garbage.

Healthy thinking includes: one man's garbage is another's treasure: and there you have it, you have options, even if you thought you are garbage: you can become another's treasure, so garbage is not a definitive term for useless, it is a relative term.

One of the most important things a person can do, is increase one's vocabulary by consciously reading. Not just the dialogue, especially not the dialogue, the thoughts, the descriptions, the associations.

The richer your vocabulary the easier you can unplug unhealthy and limited meanings, and can more successfully maneuver in the "real" world.

You'll notice that I give you a lot of writing assignments.

This is the reason.

Your vocabulary, your richness of expression limits who you can be. Limits who you can successfully influence. Limits your life.

Living in a foreign country with a native is not very helpful. Make sure you create your own microcosm by reading, reading, reading. Good literature. Good non-fiction. Read to create new pathways in your mind. Read to create a new future for yourself.

Slump: intr.v., slumped, slump·ing, slumps.

1. To fall or sink heavily; collapse: She slumped, exhausted, onto the sofa.
2. To droop, as in sitting or standing; slouch.
3. 1. To decline suddenly; fall off: Business slumped after the holidays.
   2. To perform poorly or inadequately: The team has been slumping for a month.
4. 1. To sink or settle, as into mud or slush.
   2. To slide down or spread out thickly, as mud or fresh concrete.

n.

1. The act or an instance of slumping.
2. A drooping or slouching posture: read defeat in the slump of his shoulders.
3. A sudden falling off or decline, as in activity, prices, or business: a stock market slump; a slump in farm prices.
4. An extended period of poor performance, especially in a sport or competitive activity: a slump in a batting average.
5. See grunt (sense ).

As you see, slumps are almost inevitable, we all go through them, they are the result of life's cyclical design. The question is: when they come, what are you going to do.

If you pay attention, most of life is about that question: when the sh-t hits the fan: what are YOU going to do?

Slumps are always devastating. They can take an otherwise productive, happy person and reduce him to a lethargic, depressed, indifferent clump... a minute ago he had goals and dreams that inspired him, motivated him, but now in the slump/funk these dreams and aspirations seem – unimportant, like a distant memory of something, not real, not interesting, not important.

Even when he thinks about those dreams, he is not sure why they were important in the first place, what he would do if they came to fruition... it is a so what... not very exciting, not very different... the "slump" colors everything dark, gray, muddy, tasteless and unappetizing.

You have been there... these slumps always come unexpectedly, out of the blue... and find you unprepared, right?

So what do you do? Most people give in to the slump, they take a break from it all, and spend some time feeling depressed and indifferent, uninterested in growing, moving forward, life.

Few weeks or months can pass, and your chemistry turns around naturally, you exit your slump. But you are very clear that your life has passed you by, the opportunities are gone, and you are starting from square one.

Although this is a possible way to deal with the inevitable slump, this is NOT the winner's way... I should know. I lived this yo-yo life for the first 40 or so years of my life... so did my mother, and many of my clients.

I’m going to give ;you clues how you to avoid this losing scenario. I am going to show you 21 ways you can employ to make the slump a blip in the road, where you can re-motivate yourself, return to your goals, be happy and productive.

Before I get to the 21 ways, let me look into the anatomy of this slump thing, what happens on the kabbalistic and ontological level (don't worry about those terms, they will be clear in a jiffy). One of the things that happen that your energy level leaked out and you are left with less energy. It takes energy to to pursue goals, to desire, to be happy. So one of the things we'll do is restore your energy. That is the kabbalistic side. And on the ontological side: we'll identify ourselves with an ideal we invented, instead of the suffering, disinterested, sleepy clump we are heading towards.

We are going to do a lot of pretending. Pretending to be clear, pretending to have a goal, pretending to being a winner, etc. Got it? Ready? Let's start.

Oh, one more thing: every action you'll take, every decision you make (just like when you are in a real swamp) will either take you deeper, or take you higher... so pay attention, and please know, that many of these actions work synergistically.

1. Take Action. Return to what you were doing before the "fall". Before you slid into this slump, you had goals, dreams, and lists of things you needed to do to accomplish them. At some point, you lost confidence in these ideas and stopped working on your projects and working towards your dreams.

You need to return to the activities, even if you can't see any sense, can't feel any inspiration. Fake it till you make it: you'll get into it again, and the inspiration and clarity of vision will come back. Key is: same action. Don't make haphazard actions, flailing, etc. Your clarity is not there, and your decisions will come from that unclarity: you will just dig yourself deeper into the hole if you are impulsive or hasty.

Ignore the pull to take a break, take naps, quit, etc. Focus on getting things done. Force yourself. Trust that you had a valid reason before the slump hit, the dream was real and doable, and if you just continue to take action, you will accomplish two things: come out of the slump, and get closer to your goal. Check things off on your “to do” list, you will see that with every checkmark your energy will grow.

2. Ramp Up Your Efforts. Instead of slowing down, speed up. Work faster, add intensity to your activities. Remember, your job is to increase your energy to a point where you can see where you are going, where you regain your capacity for desire... in the meantime, consider that you are on the right path (very important!) and going faster will energize you, even if it is painful. It will be painful. You are working both against gravity, and against the darkness and pull of the slump.

When you plan your day, and planning you must, plan more into your day than it seems doable, and then start, in earnest, accomplishing stuff. Drifting along, having time to waste plays to the "hand" of the slump, and will take you deeper. Take control, make plans, and accomplish a lot each day.

3. Misery loves company, and you'll notice that you'll hear the bad news, the complaints... they are more consistent with your current vibrations. Resist it. Force yourself to pay Attention to success and the activities of of successful people. Where you put your attention, it grows. The energy and vibration of success is what you need now to get out of the slump.

So, thank your mind for sharing its doubts, and start telling yourself that if they can do it, you can do it – take their examples as a source of inspiration and hope. Those two emotions will pull you out of your slump.

4. Learn by Doing. If you’re faced with a complicated decision with no clear answer, one of the best ways you can move forward is to simply do, rather than thinking. Doing gives you energy, even the wrong action, thinking strengthens your enemy, and sucks your energy.

Pick one of the possible actions in front of you; and start doing it in earnest...

If it was the wrong path, so what? you gained some energy (or at least didn't lose any) and next you can try an alternative method or path.

5. Avoid Over-thinking. Don't forget that thinking has two draw-backs in this state: they suck your energy, and because your clarity of vision is low, they will take you to wrong decisions anyway. Your best friend is action... try this path, try that path... just like you would do in a real swamp.

6. One great way to gain energy is to do menial tasks that bring a visible result. Cleaning your desk, if you are a woman, cleaning your purse, a drawer, anything, is very energizing. Accomplishment, any size, any kind, will give you much needed energy.

7. Throw a curve-ball into your daily routine. Take another route to work, sleep on the other side of the bed, or even turn around totally. Get up earlier, and go to bed later. Any small change is invigorating. You'll gain energy and a new view of life... or at least your home.

8. Promise yourself small rewards to get things done. Slumps are a result of you having worked hard, and worked on adrenaline. The slump is a chemical reaction to it, you know the serotonin/dopamine balance. Serotonin is the energizing chemical, dopamine is the pleasure chemical, the overexertion causes a high from which you need to come down... and the down is what is called the slump.

If and when this is caused by lifestyle, it is easier to manage the life style part than start manipulating the chemical imbalance with chemicals.

Those that work hard, often keep working until they burn out. It is best to take frequent mini-vacations, an afternoon off, a whole weekend off,

So, don’t do this. Set specific goals, accomplish them, and then reward yourself by taking the rest of the night off to relax. When you come back to your work, you’ll be happy and refreshed.

Keep regular sleeping hours, make sure you stop and do some physical exercises every day, go light on coffee... etc.

9. Visit a New Place. Make a quick turn into a side-street and visit a part of town you have never seen. Doing the same thing, day in and day out, with its monotony, works against you in times of slump. Break away and go, visit an new spot... look at things with a new eye, drop in to a church, a museum, walk through the woods, alone or with a friend. It doesn't have to be long. If it is too long, probably it won't be energizing. Sneak in a little enjoyment into your life.
I have been dealing with my slump after chugging along without a break for 5-6 weeks. So today I went and visited a store, then I stopped and talked to an old friend I hadn't talked to in years. I will make a traditional Jewish Saturday meal... I haven't done this in years, and I am excited.

10. If you still have enough clarity, reexamine what you are doing and re-focus yourself. My experience as a coach, that when you are clear enough, you are in the last 10% of the slump... so this is not a good advice when you are in the thick of it. In the thick of it, the best course of action is to return to the goals, tasks, projects that you were working on BEFORE you started to slide.

11. This is a MUST: Schedule Things. Make sure you have a daily calendar with enough space on it to schedule 15-30 minute tasks. Rather than Letting Things Happen to You. Don’t allow your schedule to morph into an unpredictable, unmanageable blob. Take frequent energizer breaks, if possible, break up everything into 15-30 minute chunks. This method with give you more satisfaction, and you won't be taken over by gravity.
Take the time to make a list of things you need to do, put them onto your calendar, and check them off as they are done. Don't neglect stuff... tendency is to hide from stuff... but the stuff can bite you in the a-s-s, so pay attention. You don't have the luxury to take a break from life. This will prevent disasters and things will get done, in small bite size chunks.

12. Physical Activity. The cause of slumps is not psychological. Lack of physical exercise will leave us in a mental fog. Schedule some vigorous exercise. Pay much attention that when you are in a slump, your breathing becomes shallow, and that contributes to the fog. Do arm and shoulder exercises that open your breath... pay attention. The other element is your hear rate: exercises that elevate your heart rate will wash away the cobwebs, and give you much needed endorphins. Do this every day, and if possible, several times a day. 5-10 minutes will do miracles.

13. Eliminate Pessimistic Thoughts. Avoid pessimistic people. Stop watching the news and reading the newspaper. Don't listen to hard rock and rap... they all lower your vibration, and life force. Redirect your thoughts from I can't to "how can I?"

14. Give yourself creative Challenges. We tend to resort to maintenance when we are in a slump: and maintenance is not energizing, and you can't win at it.
Build something new, try something new, then do it fast. Faster than you can think. Turn of thinking and just do. Enter contests, or if there is none around, create one for yourself. Reward yourself for every challenge won.

15. Give yourself deadlines. Work towards them as if you life depended on your performance. If you can't force yourself, then schedule a trip out of town, a hard and fast launch date, etc. When that project is due in two days, you buckle down, stay focused, and get it done. But when you have unlimited time, you probably won't focus your energies and won't accomplish anything.

16. Change Your Diet. Sugar, certain carbs, (including fruits), stimulants, junk food contribute to your yoyo experience and foggy mind. So does smoking. There is plenty of proof that the serotonin/dopamine delicate balance depends on what you put in your mouth, how and when you sleep, and whether you use stimulants or you exercise instead. Removing the offending items from your diet at least temporarily will start you on the road out of the hole.

17. Ask for help in structuring your project: don't forget, in times like this you are not the sharpest tool in the tool box.

Spend a Day to Improve Your Productivity. Productivity is the speed with which you accomplish the right result. Spend some time to clarify the right action and the right productivity methods.

18. Create small attainable bite size goals that are milestones of your big Goals. Spend time, preferably with a coach, creating the bite size projects that you can accomplish in a couple of hours instead of chugging along for days, weeks, not seeing an end to the project. Every win will increase your energy and lift your spirits.

19. Pick projects that are easy and cumulative. Ask yourself: what is the next logical step? Start with the first step, and continue with the next step. Don't try to create systems when there is nothing yet you can put inside it.

20. Sleep regular hours. If necessary, force yourself to go to bed at a certain time and get up at a certain time. Violating this rule was probably crucial in getting you into the slump... committing to a schedule will get you out of it. So go to sleep and come back refreshed tomorrow. Don't oversleep, even if you feel tired. Or if you have insomnia, don't go to bed early... it will just make it worse. Keep to your schedule... your sleep mechanism will catch up with you. Promise.

21. Make an Effort to get out of your own head and pay attention to others: the worst thing you can do is to enter a monolog and a lone ranger path... Listen to Others. Take your attention away from your mood, and complaints, your own stories and struggles, and make an effort to hear and understand other people and their life. Learn from them, absorb their stories, and use them to motivate yourself.

22. Avoid looking for the magic bullet. There are no magic bullets, and looking for them is a distraction, much like alcohol, gambling, or any other deadly addictions.

No matter how depressed and indifferent you feel right now, you have the capabilities to break out of your slump.

Take an assortment of methods from above and start adding them to modify your life. Don't delay, every minute will cost you precious days in lost life in your business, aspirations, success, relationships.

The faster you start the faster you'll return to a happy, focused, motivated life that goes some place.

Leave this slump in your past; and return to your productive, happy life.

You probably keep on shooting at it until you hit it...

If you were more sophisticated, then you would make sure you track in which direction you missed it... left, right, down or up.

The next shot would be to compensate for the miss... and then after a little while of compensation you would be able to hit the target, reliably, and every time.

What happens if you react to your first miss because someone says... "that's garbage" by becoming depressed, withdrawn, giving up, sulking... however you react other than starting to bracket to find the target with your bullet.

Game is over. Right? Or maybe you are going to do this with another target, miss it, go into the reaction, maybe try a third target... and the story goes on and on.

I want you to be sophisticated, and consider, that no matter what anyone says, missing the target is just that: Missing the target. which should be your clue of starting the process of bracketing, compensating, until you get it right. You may have to do this with anything new you do, but there are only so many new things... and before you know it, you'll be successful.

Here is a video that says it better than I could ever say. I bet you'll have several actions as soon as you watch it.

I want to share something about the kind of life you live... because I want you to sign up to the 100 day challenge, so consider that I am selling you... shamelessly, pushing you, pressuring you: because it is that important.

So, here are the two main reasons that just came up in conversations with clients:

1. You don't know what you want. When you don't plan your life, other people will do it for you. And their plan is not much of anything for you... in fact, people will keep you in your status quo, if you let them do it.

How do you know that you have given the reigns to other people... after all you have a todo list, you have goals, etc. This is how I know: when I ask you when you are going to do something that's on your list, you look in your mind not on your calendar.

Anything that only lives on a list is a setup for an incompletion, a think that sits heavily on your conscience.

When you say: I should really clean my garage (for example) your mind hears that what you should be doing it right now is cleaning your garage. So you eat dinner while your mind says: you should be cleaning out your garage... and you get indigestion. You go to sleep and your mind says: you should be cleaning out your garage... so you sleep poorly.

When you put your commitments on a calendar, your mind allows you to do what you are doing, leaves you alone and in peace, unless (of course) you don't honor your calendar.

After a few weeks of putting everything on the calendar, and "uncommitting" from everything you don't intend to do... like visit Uncle Joe in  Tahiti, or some other unrealistic wish... you'll find that you'll sleep better, and will have the energy to do the things that you are really committed to do.

It is also easier to say to your mother in law, when she asks you to mow her lawn, that right now you have something else on your agenda, but will schedule it for Friday... or something like that.

Your relationship to yourself, your environment and your life will change dramatically.

2. The second reason you don't have the life you want is because you don't know what is running your life, behind your back.

I always say that the purpose of life, the reason we are born, is to change the movie script we came with.

The movie script is like a machinery that makes sure your life follows its dictates to the t.

The life-goal you've set goes in another direction.

Your movie script is going to win unless you unearth, with a good coach, what is running the script.

I have seen "I am a failure", "I am not smart enough", "people will always take advantage of me", "you can't trust", etc. etc. etc. etc. as the backbones of the movie scripts that win... unless the mechanism gets dismantled, and redirected to a healthier path.

The 100-day challenge is such an opportunity. My courses are such an opportunity. Don't wait another year. Start the process now. I beg you. Go there... http://www.sophieslist.com/goals

Email me with your receipt and I'll figure out a perfect gift for you... I don't know what you want, but I'll help you with that... a webinar, a recommendation, a good pdf... I have a lot of goodies. I care about you. Go. Now.

http://www.sophieslist.com/goals

Though it has nothing to do with the recent iframe hack, because it effected every style of site, not just wordpress blogs, the article has a lot of good points, and you want to read it...

Trust me? Read it. here is the link: http://wordpress.org/development/2009/09/keep-wordpress-secure/

Let's call the type "I am so great, why no one is seeing it?" Or maybe let's call him Pete... why Pete?

Because some twenty years ago I had a fling with an alcoholic whose name was Pete. He was from Poland, and he spoke a little English. But when he was drunk he SPOKE a lot of Polish-English gibberish... and he was sure he just needed to drink and his English instantly improved.

So the type of coaching client, "Pete" shows the same characteristics.

He is always ready to be offended, when people treat him like he is less smart and less knowledgable that he is in his mind's eye.

His life is full of failures, full of dullness... his grand plans don't pan out, but it is never his fault. The plan was good, he was great, other people didn't understand him, didn't appreciate him.

He is not appreciative for help, instead he gets annoyed. What you give him is never good enough, he will turn around and redo it... even if the result is exactly the same.

If you are his teacher or his coach, he will always point out where you are teaching or coaching the wrong way.

In axiology¹ , which is the science of measured relationship to value, there is a distinction: clarity.

An applied axiology profile², based on a 20-minute simple exercise, can tell you a lot about you. It can tell you where you are strong, where you are weak, and what you can expect to fail at, and what to excel at. Amazing 20-30-40 page profiles come out of that little 20-min. test.

One of the things it bases its assessment on is your clarity on three different levels. On the intrinsic level, on the extrinsic level, and on the systemic level.³

Our Pete has a serious problem on the extrinsic level, the level of worldly value, what people are willing to pay for and what they aren't.

When you are crystal clear, have the highest level of clarity, you know exactly what the stuff you make is worth... a lot, or a little, doesn't matter. What matters in clarity, what matters is that you see a spade for a spade.

You can also be just clear, and you can be hazy, foggy, delusional, or as the science of axiology puts it "visible."

Our Pete is delusional. He has delusions of grandeur. And a life of disgruntlement, a life of being hurt, displaced, and failures.

In my years of coaching, 99% of Petes are males... I have only come across two Petettes :-) in the past 24 years.

Women, when they are unclear in this area, they suffer from lack of self esteem, even if they have good skills.

My own little brother is a Pete...

Are you a Pete? Or do you know one? Talk back to me!

1. the study of the nature, types, and criteria of values and of value judgments especially in ethics
2. http://www.thenewgame.com/axelrodlearning/samplereports.html
3. intrinsic level is the level of values like goodness, honesty, etc. i.e. the "godly" values. extrinsic level is the level of worldliness, something has use value, like a good taste, a nice smell, a fast car, good looks, a comfortable chair... something you would spend money on... Systemic is the on/off switch type of value and is highly cultural, good/bad, moral/immoral, right/wrong, true/false judgments live on this level

One of the common characteristics I can find is the fact that they are trying to do something big, but are surrounded by small thinking people.

Another one is that they have a small sphere of influence.

And the third one is that they don't know how to get more people to join their sphere of influence.

You will never be able to do anything really big, if you are isolated, and the "echo" that you hear about you is from people who think you are small, insignificant or crazy.

Many people go to seminars, they hang out with others there, but when they go home, they are back in their own backyard where they are considered just another wannabe.

What is the solution? What is you ARE a wannabe, but have the potential to influence thousands?

One great tool I found is twitter. And a great tool I found to build a list of followers is at http://www.sophieslist.com/tweetmillions, which is a free tool.

If life worked like it is "supposed to", it would build you a group of followers to the tune of millions, but of course life doesn't work the way it is supposed to.

But still, it is worth a try. All it takes is a minute or two...

No One CAN Do Anything FOR You... And Even if They Could...

Surprising title, isn't it? Especially from an Internet Marketer and Coach. After all, the best product to sell is something that you do for them, right?

Yes and no.

Everyone hopes that what they need can and will be done for them. So, as an Internet Marketer I can make a buttload of cash by promising that.

But here is the kicker: No one really appreciates what they get ready. Why? Are they unappreciative? Do they lack the genes for appreciation? Do they have the habit of it?

No.

If we take what Kabbalah* says about how it all works, especially what is the inner motivator of every human being: to develop one's Self to the fullest in a lifetime by correcting the areas where they fall short from fully being their divine (giving) nature... every time someone does something FOR you, they rob you of the opportunity to do it for your Self... because the thing looks done.

Last year I participated in a cca. 6-month program that had two parts in it: 1. it promised to wipe away all negativity in my nature 2. it promised to teach me to live consistently with this cleaned divine vehicle of myself, so now that it is not hindered by the negativity, it can become a super boosted accomplishing machine bringing me riches, happiness, relationship bliss, a thin and supple body, bountiful energy, fame, fortune, whatever your heart desires.

I went into this program with a mixture of doubt, suspicion, and hope in my heart. I wanted the program mostly to get rid of the anxiety attacks, the feelings of inferiority and worthlessness that enveloped me like a dark cloud.

I wanted to experience being worthy of living on this beautiful planet, worthy to contribute to people, and worthy of happiness... all of which have eluded me in the past.

I had weekly conversations with six of the other participants for whom I was like a mentor. I gained insights I hadn't had, into what people wanted most.

I saw that people wanted their spiritual work done for them. They were willing to do hocus pocus, some mechanical self protection like visualization, affirmations, but not their spiritual work.

Spiritual work is being willing to face what is dark about you, confront it, and attempt to restrict it and weed it out of your nature.

No one can do it for you. People can be there to listen, to support you while you are doing it, but can't do the digging.

It is similar to digging for gold: you need to remove a lot of dirt. And while you are doing that, it is a good idea to have someone hold the dirt, so that you can concentrate your efforts on removing new dirt, not the same one over and over again. When you ruminate in your head, engaging in monologue, what you are doing is turning over the same dirt... that is why having someone to listen actively, so you can get to new dirt is so important.

I had two psychologists do psychoanalysis with me. The only thing they had in common was that the therapy was expensive and totally worthless. They made no input and I came to no conclusion: it was like I played with my poo-poo for years... and I also paid for it with real money.

On the other hand, in a program I took over a weekend some years ago, in a "paired" exercise, I could glimpse at something like gold, right underneath the darkness... and I never needed therapy again. The difference was that the other of the pair listened with the intention to reveal something, and so I did. What I revealed set me free in a big way.

But first it appalled me, disgusted me, mortified me... but ultimately it set me free.

Anyway, let's get back to the question, why wouldn't you appreciate what is done for you.

Your soul doesn't like handouts. Your soul doesn't want to just receive. Your soul want to live consistent with its divine nature, and therefore it will refuse any deal that is about receiving only.

Also, your soul is interested in experiencing, good and bad, bitter and sweet, painful and blissful, failure and success, and would rather not have any of it handed to it on a silver platter.

Your soul wants to work on its correction through those experiences. Everything else feels like "bread of shame" that it didn't earn.

And even when your ego wants it done for it, the soul with make you sabotage it, and you'll lose that gain that the "gift" has bought you. Just look at lottery millionaires... without exception they lose it all.

Now you have it. That is why no one can do it for you.

But one could offer doing it WITH you, supporting through the stops, the barriers, the hurdles, every step of the way.

This is what I am about. I have overcome more hurdles than most, and know how to overcome them, allowing your soul to do its work. That is what's special about me.

Don't misunderstand me, me ego wants to give it to you and move to the next chomp... but my soul won't let me. Thank G-d. This way you have someone to support you to get everything you ever wanted.

Including Internet Marketing Success.

But whether you will vote to Obama, McCain, or stay at home and let others decide, one thing is certain, no one is looking at the real issue:

The skill it takes to win the votes of the majority, i.e. win an election is a very different skill from the skill of running a country. Unless running it to the ground qualifies as running it.... ;-)  as we have experienced, time and time again.

Just like in politics, the same is true for teaching anything, including internet marketing. The skill it takes to be a successful internet marketer is a vastly different skill from the skill of causing another person's success.

We all look to our guru to teach us what to do and how to do it, so that we can be successful like them, and we all get very frustrated and very weary, because what they say and what they do are often different, and even if and when we did exactly what they said to do, we meet with meager success.

How come? We seem all very surprised.

Well, let me ask you this: have you ever heard of a successful football or basketball coach that played real well?

Or the reverse: have you ever heard of a successful player that was also a great coach?

Most successful players play from their "other than conscious mind."

Their conscious mind doesn't know what they are doing: they feel their way.
They say that chess masters use their other than conscious mind to play with lightening speed, that their conscious mind doesn't even comprehend.

I play freecell (a computer game). In the beginning I looked and looked, and only made moves that made sense to me. As the years passed, I am catching myself that when I give my other than conscious mind a good look at the computer screen with the game open, it knows what to do and wins the game for me. Thank you other than conscious mind.

So what does this have to do with internet marketing?
Unfortunately, a lot.

They say internet marketing is simple but not easy.
If we stay with the freecell computer game, the moves are real simple. but it is rare that someone can score a 100. why? Because you can make the simple moves ONLY in a certain order, and be successful at the same time.

The pull to pick the low hanging fruit, and make the easy moves first, will certainly get you in trouble.

And here are we, back where we started:

The advantage of a good teacher is to give us a step by step plan... which the chess-master type guru can't.
He never did what he did consciously, so he can't give you the plan.

So what is the solution? What can a 'guru' give you that will make you succeed?

I have come up with two possible solutions that look hopeful:

1. give people chunks of ready made pieces of the puzzle, and a simple assembly plan. i.e. do it FOR them.
2. give people and environment where they can do it with others, and guide them

I am going to give you solution #1 today.

I have prepared for you six websites, each designed to self-run itself and become successful with just a little help from you.

And I have prepared for you a marketing goldmine: 103 different small and big strategies that you can follow to help nature in its work, and make the sites more successful, even take them to the top.

About an hour later I woke up from a dream of writing THIS article. Here it is, just the way it came to me in my dream:

Each great thing that was ever built started with something that had the greatness, as a potential only.

Most didn't look like the start of something great. Many times it was a comedy of errors and their correction that took someone to something big.

But, you say, we are always told to create with the big picture in mind... Oh yes, that one. I know that well. The misunderstanding of that notion has robbed me of many successes...

The misunderstanding of that principle has rendered me undecisive, unresponsive, tentative, or jumping from one sure thing to another.

Imagine if the tree thought that every seed it is producing must become a big tree... it would be so afraid of living, it would start to shrink and refuse to go to seed. The prospect of so many wasted seeds would kill the tree's aliveness and creativity.

No, greatness is a potential, dormant in every little seed, and with enough great little seeds produced, one of them may become a big tree...

Let's look at MY story.

Back in 1988 I found myself unemployed from architecture, and unemployable at the same time... don't ask me why, I won't tell.

I was spending quite a few months depressed, going to self help programs, 12-step, Werner Erhard and Associates, etc. ... barely having 3-day worth of work a month to live on.

I couldn't think of anything to do... I was too entrenched in being an architect. At some point, I did an exercise from the "What Color Is Your Parachute" and found that what I wanted to do, that caused me pleasure, is "put ink on paper and communicate."

I took it literally at the time, and thought advertising or publishing.

I didn't know much of either.

I went and apprenticed (free) with a small printer for a while, and learned some stuff, bought a letter press with some letters, wrote advertising in mail order magazines... to sell some pyramid schemes... and then when I really needed some money to earn, I wrote a letter to the two throw-away magazines in my area, asking if they had a job opening for publisher's apprentice.

One of them called and said that such a job didn't exist but I could start selling advertising. No "draw" (salary), only commission. Does that put me closer to publishing, I asked, and the guy said yes. I took the job.

I was trained by another salesperson. We visited a few stores in my town--typical advertisers in that paper. We sold 5 small ads that day. I say "we", but I think it was her. That day completed my training. Next day I walked back to the business area of my little town, and found that by the time I got there, the training salesperson had driven there and sold them, or attempted to. I had no wheels, and soon I had no hope.

I called the other magazine, and bragged that I had sold 7 ads my first week for their competitor... they were impressed. They gave me a 200 dollar advance, and a beat up car with a gas card.

I worked my butt off, sold ads, delivered magazines, partook in every office meeting, went to the printer, went to the typesetter, collected monies... two months later, I was put in charge of designing the ads and laying out the magazine. Two more months later I was offered a partnership in the magazine. Still, my best week I made $400... I didn't have many good weeks.

I worked 20 hours a day 7 days a week... I was bossy, I was certain, I was "dynamic", I was disrespectful... 5 months later I was offered the choice to resign, or... blackmail. I resigned. No-brainer.

That same evening I called all the advertisers in my care, the typesetting company and the printer with the same question: Would you take a chance on me for one issue? They all said yes, so next day there was a brand new magazine born, printed and delivered.

I made money with the first issue, and with every issue thereafter. More than $400 a week. :-)

That magazine, through the time, became 90-thousand circulation strong, and I published it for 11 years.

Now, there are two lessons in this story: 1. I first looked what it is that I love so much that I would do it for free (putting ink on paper and communicate) and 2. I was willing to fumble through phases that didn't seem to go anywhere, and I was rewarded through small corrective steps, with a business I loved.

When I watch internet marketing, I see many thousands who never get started. They got attracted to the visions of greatness (millions of dollars) but are unable or unwilling to start where one needs to start in fear of starting at the wrong place.

I have had coaching clients that were so afraid of making the wrong move, that they never got started... that is until I made them do stuff...

I have had coaching clients that wanted to do internet marketing, but hated every aspect of it... and sucked at it too... of course.

I have had coaching clients that thought that without any skills they can make millions and they never actually learned anything...

Remember, childhood was to learn skills, without the significance. At least in most countries... of course, in the US kids must perform early on, sports are not skill builders, but opportunities to be big... which teaches us early on that we were supposed to be born with the skills we need, and if we weren't, then we are doomed.

The same applies in business. You need to play first in the sandbox, and build some easy structures, without the significance. Write an article here, a blogpost there, a salesletter here, make a video there, copy and rewrite an ebook, just to practice the structure... Just to get a feel what you like to do. What you are good at.

Every guru you meet started that way.

My current favorite, Eben Pagan, wrote an ebook, full of typos, and that's how he started his now 20 million dollars a year empire, 7 years ago. He wrote about something he knew something about: seduction. Something that he was personally very interested in... he desperately wanted companionship...

He has made it big. With a topic like that. He learned as he went. He had mentors, teachers, mastermind partners every step of the way. It wasn't a straight path... not in the least.

You can do it too. Just start getting that every tree came from a seed sometimes as tiny as a pinhead, and then grew. It went through the phases... It didn't come out a tree at once. It was a seedling for a long time.

Enjoy.

visit video on youtube

or watch it here

Most of us live a life of quiet desperation. It was true at the turn of the last century, and it is true now.

There was a discipline and coaching paradigm I studied and used about 9 years ago. It is based on axiology, the Nobel Prize nominated work of Robert Hartman.

Axiology is the study of value or quality. It is the science that deals with what is good and what is not. Beyond and independent of subjective judgment.

The test (Value Profile) we ran in axiology had 4 parameters by which we could map out the potential for success of any individual.

One of them relates to the title. The parameter is called "clarity".

We all think we are clear. Yet we can be a lot less than clear if our life is not a symphony and a victory of the human power and spirit. (Got it? That means you and me and even many of the so called demi-gods of our times.)

Clarity is the relationship between your view and reality (like a percentage) or how well what you see and what you think you see overlap.

I like to use an analogy from my publishing/printing background: In order to print a continuous tone, like a photograph, you need to break up the original to dots. The measure is called dot per inch, which means how many dots, each direction, you can print on a paper without the dots touching each other and therefore causing a blotch instead of a clear picture. Newsprint paper is porous, so the density of of dots on that type of paper is maximum 75 dots per inch. Semi glossy magazines and brochures are printed at about 105-120 dots per inch. Playboy is printed at 150 dots per inch.

When you look at a newspaper picture, sometimes you are not sure if the person has a mole or just there is a shadow or maybe a blotch of ink where you thing the mole is. Glossy brochures are better, Playboy is really really really good.

I use this dot per inch analogy to show that we normally see the world in certain level of clarity (dots per inch). In order to be clearer, one thing we can do, is to add dots where there are not dots.

Another is to remove the blotches, that in clarity's terms are the misconceptions: societal, familial, or personal.

Adding dots is a simple learning process coupled with friends of colleagues that can help you with. (Critiquing is an important tool, though most people hate it... sorry to say.)

Removing blotches is harder, and this is my specialty. Distinctions are the major tool for tha. Distinctions are those invisible things that once they become visible, lots of blotches disappear. Read my other posts an sites on that http://www.squidoo.com/distinctions or http://www.sophieschoice.org/new-site-on-squidoo-just-for-distinctions/

And come back for more... I am the Distinctions Queen, so all my posts will take you deeper into this rabbit hole.

Well, what comes after that because is what this article is about.

I was in Landmark Education for 20 years, and I went from seminar to seminar, from course to course, from training program to training program.

In the past three years I probably have done 20 programs, seminars, coaching programs... But only 3 in the past year. What happened?

Good question. I grew.

Very much the way you grow a muscle (especially if you are a body builder), one day you use/overuse a muscle, the next day you allow it to rest, and then do it again.

People that follow the pattern I followed for the 22 years leading up to this year, when I actually grew, actually NEVER grow. They use seminars as a way to avoid actually growing. I was guilty of this, myself. Secretly, in my heart, I knew that my parents were right, that no matter what I did, I would not amount to anything.

A year ago this all changed. I met this amazing woman, Pam Ragland, in a coaching program, where we were both students, ha-ha, how ironic. We struck up a conversation and she said that she can wipe away all my negative thoughts. I was desperate for my negative thougths to go away. Living with the pretense, that some day I was going to use all I learned... while that one day never came, was horrible.

I booked her for a private session, and from that one session I suddenly saw that maybe I was wrong, and maybe there is something I could do with my life. And, to my surprise, I found myself in action. That is when I saw how passionate I am about speakers' success, and how much I would like to teach speakers to be effective at this craft.

Later I enrolled in Pam's eight-month program that teaches how to drive this new me, that is now a Ferrari instead of a jalope.

I never doubted again that I can do it. I stopped going to seminars, I even cancelled two seminars I fully paid for. I am working, but I am working purposefully. Much like I used to work on a puzzle when I had the box showing the finished picture... fully knowing that all the pieces are there, and it only takes time to put it all together.

I can tell you, a dream life begins with that box cover... and that certainty. Some people can see it themselves, some people are lucky: some committed coach sees it for them. I am that kind of coach. I have never had a client that did not accomplish what I saw possible for them (boxcover).

Are you still going to all the seminars, reading all the books, buying all the programs, but the results you can show for all that learning are meager to say the least?

The natural way to grow, is to grow in spurts, and then consolidate. Grow intensely, and then harvest the benefits (use the knowledge) until the growth almost starts to slow down. The start it all over again.

They are a great way for me to track how the methodologies and principles I use in my teaching work. I mean, how effective I am, how effective the methods are. They track my ability to make a difference in the world. (Someone please remind me to write about how I view my making a difference... OK?)

This note reads

Today was a huge success. I did not even recognize myself. I was attempting to have a conversation with my sister when she became extremely aggressive upon trying to control me and failing. She was in my face yelling and pacing around in circles. I remained calm and did not attempt to defend myself as the lies flew at me. I was able to stick to the subject and not accuse. At this point her husband jumped in and tried to intimidate me, pointing his finger in my face and yelling. They both looked like mad men ganging up on me. I did not raise my voice or get emotional. This is the first time in my life I had no fear in a confrontational situation and it felt GREAT! To be honest I think it frightened my sister & her husband. They did not know what to think of me, I have had many weaknesses in the past but now I am strong.

This person, let's call her Josephine (not her real name) was given up for adoption at an early age. A loving couple with two children over 10, adopted her.

The birth children never accepted her as a sibling.

In her mind, in her thinking, in her words, she was abandoned by her mother. She put together a strategy of being meek, never speaking up for herself, always seeking approval, taking care of everyone, etc. to prevent the "inevitable", being put out, cast out, not wanted...

She is a bright and sprightly 50 year old today, with children that disapprove of her, with a nasty divorce behind her, where the ex never paid a dime child support, etc.

She could have continued living this movie, except the soul has been banging, nudging her, so she decided to become her own person.

She got "thought shifted" by Pam Ragland and started to work with me.

We started with the automatic statement of "being abandoned by the mother" and changed it to "her mother loved her so much she wanted her a better life she herself could provide her".

We did not stop there (most methodologies do!) and started to build "legs" to this (this is the way I express that instead of something being just an idea, like possibility in Landmark, etc. we create actions and behaviors and attitudes consistent with that new being, so that it can become a sequel to one's movie, unlike the original script).

We went, and created new ways of being, new attitudes and new behaviors in different, specific to her, situations. Ways of being, attitudes, and behaviors that are "informed by" and based upon this new story, that she had a loving mother who wanted the best for her, and she was indeed lucky, her new parents loved her dearly.

We invented a new way to behave when her children chided her for her view of the world. Instead of choosing to be wrong, or making them wrong for thinking differently, she learned to say simply: "I understand you have a different point of view from mine. That does not make you wrong, or doesn't make you right. We just have a different point of view"

We invented a new way to behave with her siblings, especially her sister. Earlier this year their mother died and left a large inheritance equally distributed among the three children, natural or adopted. The natural daughter is refusing to release Josephine's inheritance. She is feverishly trying to spend the money to not have to give any money to the adopted one.

The note said it better than I could ever say: Josephine stood up to her sister and brother in law, and will do whatever she needs to do to get the money her parents left for her.

Inconsistent with the early story? You betcha! That is the point! Create a new personality and have your future be by your choosing.

I won’t go there… writing a book is way too long for my ADHD personality.

But there is one teacher, who I admire, Colin Wilson (of “Outsider” and “The Mind Parasites” fame, who wrote a book, “The Books In My Life” where he strung about 15 essays into a book, and I learned more from the writers he speaks of than I would have learned, had I read the original books.

So this is definitely a worthwhile endeavor, and I’ll see if I can do something on a much smaller scale. (Colin Wilson wrote 84 books in a short 30 years… I have written articles that would fill one book… Now you have it.)

Anyway, one of my teachers is Colin Wilson himself, another one is Robert Fritz. I was also in Landmark Education for 20 years, the Kabbalah Centre for almost 5 years, T. Harv Eker for the past 3 years, Pam Ragland for the past year...

To be continued... ADHD kicked in... I've got to go :-)

But before I go... who were the teachers that you would like to share?

Listen if you can recognize yourself in these stories:

A lot of my clients find themselves in a trap...

For example, they make a mistake. They are frustrated. Or they are scared. Or they are angry. Or they are devastated. Even suicidal.

They say to themselves: Here I go again!... I am never going to get it right! I better give up while I am ahead! I am stupid! I am a loser! and on and on and on I could go with the examples how people abuse themselves.

Other times someone compliments them, and their ego swells, and they feel that they are good looking, a winner, well liked, smart, even brilliant.

Often, someone else makes a mistake, and they decide that the other person is no good, and isn't worth investing their time into whatever they were doing together.

Parents do this to their kids all the time. My parents did it to me too...

I was dyslexic and I was near sighted... Reading was not my strong suit, in fact I didn't really learn to read until I was about 9 years old. I figured out a method of stabilize my head, block out the peripheral vision, and then, and only then, I could read... if I was calm enough, if no one was watching, etc.

Until this day, my knee jerk reaction, to everything, is smart/stupid. I am not alone, right?Eight years ago I had a health issue and I had to be operated on. I had no money, no insurance, so a doctor operated on me as a favor to his friend who was my client.The operation didn't go too well, and I came out of it with serious vertigo, and as it turned out later, a massive drop in my I.Q. I call it brain damage, though it was never diagnosed, because I wowed never set foot in a doctor's office again.

Some intellectual functions were untouched, but basic survival functions were seriously limited. I could not figure out simple things, what to do first, and what to do second, I could not combine change to pay for the toll on the highway, it was bad.

I could drive. And one day my truck broke down and luckily I wasn't alone. We called AAA and a tow truck came to pick us up.

The truck driver, a good looking lad around 30, was obviously retarded. Happy, talkative, but a simpleton.

I asked how he managed to be so happy. He said: when made mistakes as a child, his mother never called him names, simply said: "You just made an error in judgment." So he never told himself that he was stupid, or he couldn't, or any of the crap we tell ourselves... he grew up a happy man, useful in the world, fairly successful as well. Nowadays making a living is success in and of itself. Coupled with happiness: a big success.

I found his story very inspiring. I remembered that I used to be smart, and I set out to come back to that. It took me 4 years, and today I am as smart as I used to be.

So what is the point, you ask?

If and when you can tell apart who you are (an unlimited being in physical form) and who you are being in the moment (even if that moment is a long one!) then you can easily return to who you really are, smart, powerful, generous, kind, loving... and won't be trapped by your own judgment of you.

Do you have a story to tell? Please don't hesitate to tell us in the comment form. We would all like to learn from story.

Sophie

Most of us interpret the Law of Attraction as a kind of "Cosmic Soup Kitchen" where you sit at a table, a waitperson comes and takes your order, and then you wait for your order to come.

Sometimes your order comes, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes you get something totally different, something that you didn’t want.

Some people's order comes faster than yours, some others' slower, or never.

It all seems random, and capricious. Like the Universe is playing a game with you.

Frustrating to most, happy and great for some. It seems like there are chosen people, or lucky, and something invisible marks YOU as the one who should never get ahead, never get what you want.

You follow the instructions in The Secret, and still nothing.

You can taste the sweet success as you are playing it in your mind's eye, over and over again. Still, Nothing.

I will turn to MY major source of wisdom, the Kabbalah, or the Book of Splendor (The Zohar).
Why? Because it has an answer that I have seen working, all the time.

The answer to this above dilemma is explained in the scene where Moses is leading the Israelites out of Egypt, they reach the shores of the Red Sea, and the Pharaoh's army is in close pursuit, breathing down their neck.

The Israelites drop on their knees, and cry out to The Creator. A voice comes out of nowhere and says:

Why are you praying? Go into the water!

Moses and the Israelites start walking into the water, that gets deeper and deeper, until it reaches their chin. Then they walk some more, and the waters split, and they can walk across to the other side.When the Pharaoh's army gets there, the waters already seal themselves, and the Israelites are safe.

Interesting story, but it is much more than a story. It is the key to activating the Law of Attraction: after you pleace your "order" in the "Cosmic Kitchen," you need to get into action with certainty, that what you ordered is a done deal.

That act of certainty and courage is what finally activates the Law. Waiting won't.

Now, I know that the missing piece is really, really, really, courage. Or better with capitized: Courage.

I have been of the opinion, after coaching thousands, that the world suffers from courage deficiency.

Courage deficiency is much like calcium deficiency... you cannot assimilate calcium if you don't have Vitamin C, or if your stomach acid is too weak. And you will flush your calcium if you don't have some other minerals... I can't remember, maybe Magnesium?

The same is with Courage. What is taking up the space that Courage should occupy? I say: Fear. I say: mostly unidentified Fear. Because, at least some of us, idle, not acting courageously, don't know we are afraid. We seem to be reasonable, justified by the economy, by lack of time, lack of knowledge, whatever.

If we knew we are afraid, we would at least have a choice about summoning courage...

In my absolutely favorite movie, "Defending Your Life" our hero, played by Albert Brooks, accidentally activates Courage, by seeing that he will spend of the rest of his lives without Julia, played by Merryl Streep, and that is so unbearable, that his courage kicks in, maybe the first time in his life. But it changes how things go from there... he gets what he always wished for, the girl of his dreams.

Now, we could all wait for a circumstance like that, or activate Courage by being a Powerful Manager (tm) in your own life.

Let's return to the imagery I set up with Moses and the Red Sea: I had a realization today, that my MO (modus operandi) is such that I need to be thrown into the water, and THEN I "invent" swimming. Planning and then acting is not my MO.

But unfortunately, for the most part, there is no one to throw you into the water. So you need to do it... So that is my / your next step, to become brilliant at that...

Because going into the water is not an event: every day, when you wake up, you need to do it again.

I call this being a Powerful Manager(tm) in your life: put yourself into a situation where it is either swim or sink... and then start swimming. The style of swimming won't matter: only that you swim.

Your instinct will kick in, and you will swim and "take it home" whatever you were going after. The Universal Law of Attraction activates itself with that courageous act of throwing yourself into the water.

What seems to be YOUR biggest stumbling block to activating The Law Of Attraction? Use the comment form to share…

Some 44 years ago, when I was in high school, and a celebrity of sorts, I was presented with a lesson that did not land until just today.

Back in 1963, my friend, Pamacs an I, applied to a talent show. She sang, I sang, she could strum the guitar, I was an accomplished guitar player. We opted to sing two Neil Sedaka songs, in English, instead of my native Hungarian. We stayed in the competition for quite a few rounds, and became everyone's favorite Bambi.

Duo, as we called ourselves. I have seen photos taken from the Television show, and we looked sweet, fresh, and just adorable.

Everyone who watched TV watched that show: that was the only TV station in Hungary, back in the olden days ;-)

Every Saturday, Pamacs showed up at our house, and we went dancing. She danced the whole evening, I danced maybe two

songs. At the end of the night hordes of boys wanted to walk her home, no one cared about me. I was prettier than Pam. I was dumbfounded...

Fast forward a few years... a few months ago Pam got in touch with me: the magic of the Internet.

She now lives in London, married to a famous and absolutely smashing guy, step mother of an Oscar Best Actress winner, has a striving psychology counseling practice.

I am not married (have never been), live alone, so you see, the story continued as it started. What is the difference between Pam and myself? If you guessed: her personality, you guessed it right.

So that means that I am screwed, right?

Now, I happen to agree with you, but we are both wrong.
Potentially...

Because in my new course, to be released soon, "Design Your Winning Personality" I have good news for you! You are not stuck with your personality, warts and all... You have built it, you can build another one. One that will get you what you want, the right guy/gal, the right job, the right connections, the right income, the right mood: happiness.

Let me ask you a question: if you could change anything about yourself: what would you change? What do you think would happen different in your life, if you could successfully changed that?

Please post a comment below.

Looking forward to hearing your answers.

xoxo Sophie

PS: In my next post I will write about a real-life example, another friend of mine’s… how she changed from a needy wallflower to a married, happy, successful architect.

Tags: personality,+persona,+character,+nice+person, winning, persona, the+face+of+your+business, mindset, change