Sophie's Success Shortcuts

In my coaching practice I often bump up against a certain type of client, it’s never rewarding, it’s never pleasant.

Let’s call the type “I am so great, why no one is seeing it?” Or maybe let’s call him Pete… why Pete?

Because some twenty years ago I had a fling with an alcoholic whose name was Pete. He was from Poland, and he spoke a little English. But when he was drunk he SPOKE a lot of Polish-English gibberish… and he was sure he just needed to drink and his English instantly improved.

So the type of coaching client, “Pete” shows the same characteristics.

He is always ready to be offended, when people treat him like he is less smart and less knowledgable that he is in his mind’s eye.

His life is full of failures, full of dullness… his grand plans don’t pan out, but it is never his fault. The plan was good, he was great, other people didn’t understand him, didn’t appreciate him.

He is not appreciative for help, instead he gets annoyed. What you give him is never good enough, he will turn around and redo it… even if the result is exactly the same.

If you are his teacher or his coach, he will always point out where you are teaching or coaching the wrong way.

In axiology¹ , which is the science of measured relationship to value, there is a distinction: clarity.

An applied axiology profile², based on a 20-minute simple exercise, can tell you a lot about you. It can tell you where you are strong, where you are weak, and what you can expect to fail at, and what to excel at. Amazing 20-30-40 page profiles come out of that little 20-min. test.

One of the things it bases its assessment on is your clarity on three different levels. On the intrinsic level, on the extrinsic level, and on the systemic level.³

Our Pete has a serious problem on the extrinsic level, the level of worldly value, what people are willing to pay for and what they aren’t.

When you are crystal clear, have the highest level of clarity, you know exactly what the stuff you make is worth… a lot, or a little, doesn’t matter. What matters in clarity, what matters is that you see a spade for a spade.

You can also be just clear, and you can be hazy, foggy, delusional, or as the science of axiology puts it “visible.”

Our Pete is delusional. He has delusions of grandeur. And a life of disgruntlement, a life of being hurt, displaced, and failures.

In my years of coaching, 99% of Petes are males… I have only come across two Petettes :-) in the past 24 years.

Women, when they are unclear in this area, they suffer from lack of self esteem, even if they have good skills.

My own little brother is a Pete…

Are you a Pete? Or do you know one? Talk back to me!

1. the study of the nature, types, and criteria of values and of value judgments especially in ethics [↩]
2. http://www.thenewgame.com/axelrodlearning/samplereports.html [↩]
3. intrinsic level is the level of values like goodness, honesty, etc. i.e. the “godly” values. extrinsic level is the level of worldliness, something has use value, like a good taste, a nice smell, a fast car, good looks, a comfortable chair… something you would spend money on… Systemic is the on/off switch type of value and is highly cultural, good/bad, moral/immoral, right/wrong, true/false judgments live on this level [↩]